Big Girl in Brazil

Fun fact: I am going on a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I will be serving in the Brazil São Paulo West Mission, speaking Portuguese, from August 2013 to February 2015. For those who struggle with calendar math (such as myself), that's 18 months in which I will be a full-time missionary in a foreign country, on a different continent, speaking a language that I currently don't know. While I am doing all of this, I will be completely dedicated to teaching the gospel of Jesus Christ. (Go here for more information about what a mission is. Or feel free to ask me any questions you may have!)

There will come a time in which I have much, much more to say about what all of this means to me. In fact, those posts are currently drafts.

But I wish to post something in the meanwhile. So stay tuned for the deeper stuff, it's on its way.

You know, my mom sometimes tells a story of my younger self. She always sang a lullaby when she tucked us in at night--usually whatever we chose. "Oh, Hush Thee, My Baby," was among the favorites. But it didn't take me long to catch on to something: my sneaky mother was trying to con me into thinking I was still a baby. And guess what? It wasn't working. On at least one occasion, my fiery red-headed self boldly informed my mom that, "I'm not a baby. I'm a big girl." And, in order to appease me, she changed the words. "Oh, hush thee, my big girl; a story I'll tell..."

(She also tells a story about my 18-month-old self running away from her, wagging my finger and yelling, "No no, Mommy, no no." But that is another tale for another day.)

I report to the missionary training center in 44 days and counting. Which means the deadline is fast approaching. The little details can't be overlooked for much longer--like the fact that I have only purchased a fraction of the wardrobe I will be needing to get me through 18 months of missionary service. So I'm becoming increasingly aware of the things that need to be taken care of and, apparently, so is my mother.

Every so often, my mom contacts me with various questions. It's usually sparked by troubles that other members of our congregation are having as they work through preparations for their missions, so the questions are along the lines of, "So-and-so is having trouble with his visa because of this, have you done that?" And I remind her that I was applying from the other end of the country and I applied through a different consulate.

Sometimes, however, the conversations are more varied. The following are samples of things I have said to my mother regarding my mission:

"Yes, I have been checking my church email. But remember, my mission is a new one and won't open until July. It doesn't exist yet."

"No, I can't go to Canada--I don't have a passport. Don't panic, I have a passport, but not with me. Yes, I know I will need it to get into Brazil. Mom, the church has my passport. They'll send it to me a week before I go to the MTC. I don't know how my visa status is, they'll tell me a week before I report if I'm going straight to Brazil or if I'm going to Provo first."

"I know I need clothes. Yes, I will need a suitcase. Mom, I can't bring that to Brazil with me--it's a giant teddy bear, I don't have room in my suitcase."

"Okay, I will try my hardest to get a present to Benny before Christmas. But remember how the mail is there. Sometimes the post office goes on strike and things."

"Yes, I've heard of the protests happening in Brazil, but who told you? Mom, you cannot keep reading the news about Brazil. It'll put you in a panic! You don't need to be that informed. I'll write you and tell you how things are going. Mom! This is like the time you watched a video of a hip replacement surgery before you got the surgery. You thought you needed to be informed then, too, and it turned out to be a horrible idea. Mom, really, don't follow the news in Brazil."

I am of the firm belief that my mom and I will be having the same conversations for the remainder of . . . forever. Because apparently we've had this one before. And you know how it ended?

If I recall the story correctly, the song went along the lines of something like, "Oh, hush thee, my big girl."

What is Faith?

On a fairly regular basis, I realize that I don't know a whole lot. Sometimes that comes in the form of listening to my math major friend talk about his day, sometimes in the form of hearing my roommate discuss literature, sometimes it comes when I look out into this great big world of ours and think about how much knowledge is out there. But then there are the times that I think about what I do know, and how that knowledge can go even deeper. This week, the realization came with the word faith. What is faith, anyway? I mean, what is faith really?

"Faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true."

-Alma 32:21

But then, what is hope? A quiet assurance. It's a sense of peace, of calm. Hope is the offspring of preparation and understanding. It enables us to move forward. To become. So as we hope for "things which are not seen, which are true" we combine our experiences with our knowledge to look forward to something greater. We hope for God. We hope in and through Him. We hope in His plan, and in His Gospel, and in His truth. We hope in all that He is and all that He does and, somewhere along the way, we realize that it's faith.

Faith is also a bit of courage. And strength. And beauty.

In the Book of Mormon, we are told, "Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life" (2 Nephi 31:20). If we, indeed, express our faith through hope, then the phrase, "having a perfect brightness of hope" tells us that faith gives us light. It lifts and brightens us. Faith is the courage and the strength that we need to press forward, and it is the light by which we can see all beauty.

I once went on a hike at 4 o'clock in the morning. I stumbled along, vaguely making out shapes by the light of the Cheshire Cat moon. Unsure what it was that I would discover, I made my way to the top and looked out into the darkness. Eventually, I began to make out the first signs of dawn. It has since occurred to me that faith is hiking to the top of a mountain in the darkness, not knowing what you'll see--only that the sunrise will be spectacular.

"If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you." 

-Matthew 17:20

Through faith, we can summit mountains. We can move them. With faith, nothing is impossible. Ultimately, I think faith is the ability to look beyond the limitations that we see with our mortal eyes. It is letting go of fear and doubt, and it is an absolute trust in what we feel to be undeniably true. It's hoping in God, in all that He is, and all that, through Him, we can become.

This Much I Know

"Joseph Smith, the Prophet and Seer of the Lord, has done more, save Jesus only, for the salvation of men in this world, than any other man that ever lived in it. In the short space of twenty years, he has brought forth the Book of Mormon, which he translated by the gift and power of God, and has been the means of publishing it on two continents; has sent the fulness of the everlasting gospel, which it contained, to the four quarters of the earth; has brought forth the revelations and commandments which compose this book of Doctrine and Covenants, and many other wise documents and instructions for the benefit of the children of men; gathered many thousands of the Latter-day Saints, founded a great city, and left a fame and name that cannot be slain. He lived great, and he died great in the eyes of God and his people; and like most of the Lord's anointed in ancient times, has sealed his mission and his works with his own blood; and so has his brother Hyrum. In life they were not divided, and in death they were not separated!"

-John Taylor (D&C 135:3)

There are a lot of things that I haven't figured out. There are a lot of things I have left to learn, and a lot of improvements I have to make. I don't know much--compared to all the information out there, I don't know anything. But this much I do know: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is true. It is God's one true church on the earth today. I have a loving and caring Father in Heaven who knows me and watches over me. He guides me. His Son, Jesus Christ, gave His life for me so that I can return to live with them again. I am never alone.

So as I go through life, confused and a little lost, I will always be grateful for the sacrifices of those who came before me. Joseph Smith gave all that he had to give and, though I may not be called to die for this cause, I will live for it.

Because this much I undeniably and immovably know: this church is true.

This 25th Day of July

Memoirs. That's the word.

I've been looking for that word for years. And it finally hit me. I love memoirs. I love them. I love to catch glimpses into the experiences of others. I love a well-told story. I love life in its simplicity, and I especially love to turn something mundane into the extraordinary.

And I guess that's what memoirs do. They take something so simple, so commonplace, and transform it into a universally understandable work of art. They connect us. They help us look beyond social barriers and see that our hearts are shared. Though our hopes and dreams may be different, we all have something that we are striving to become.

You know?

Anyway, today is the day in which we celebrate Christmas in July. I plan on listening to Christmas music all day long, and reminiscing on the days when it was cold enough to wear pants, thick socks, shoes, three layers of long-sleeved shirts, gloves, and a coat--and still fight the urge to shiver in attempt to look normal while walking around Temple Square. While I'm at it, I'll probably drink some hot chocolate soon, before it gets unbearably hot. Then I'll eat some popsicles and pretend that they're snow. I will celebrate that the Christmas season has drawn yet another day nearer.

And, as silly as it is, there is no reason not to take the opportunity to remember what Christmas is all about. A Savior was born. He did all that was required of Him, He redeemed us. And He lives today and is ever reaching out to you, waiting for you to take His hand.

We are so, so blessed because of Him.

Photo Credit

Merry Christmas in July!

The Merciful Obtain Mercy

I know I normally just post the link for the Conference Weekly talks, but this one is too good to just gloss over with a, "Hey, go check it out sometime. You know, if you feel like it."

It is beautiful. It is perfect. It is something that we should all hear on a regular basis.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf is truly an inspired man of God. As the second counselor of the First Presidency of the Church, he has lifted me countless times with his words of guidance and encouragement. And for that, I could not be more grateful. For a basic rundown on how the church is organized, visit this link.

It is easy to hold on to things--to cling to them as if they were our only way to get through life. Fear, and hurt, and bitterness seem to offer us protection. "Nevertheless, we must let go of our grievances. part of the purpose of mortality is to learn how to let go of such things. That is the Lord's way."

"We must recognize that we are all imperfect--that we are beggars before God. Haven't we all, at one time or another, meekly approached the mercy seat and pleaded for grace? haven't we wished with all the energy of our souls for mercy--to be forgiven for the mistakes we have made and the sins we have committed?

"Because we all depend on the mercy of God, how can we deny to others any measure of the grace we so desperately desire for ourselves? My beloved brothers and sisters, should we not forgive as we wish to be forgiven?"

Please take the time to listen to these words--they are the words of God, delivered by His servant. Whether you are a member of the church or not, this will lift and guide you. I promise.

The text to the whole address can be found here.

With Wings as Eagles

The other day, I caught Benny jumping off the arm of the couch and flopping noisily down onto the cushions. Over, and over, and over again. When I asked him what he was doing, he said, "I'm trying to fly like a birdy, but I keep falling down."

And I couldn't help but think that we all feel that way sometimes. We have such high aspirations, we want to accomplish big and beautiful things--we want to fly, but we just keep falling down. Try as we might, we just don't have what it takes to do everything.

Sometimes we take that leap of faith, and when we aren't caught up to soar in the skies above, we're confused. We're confused because we trusted, and we believed, and we hoped. And all that we seem to be getting for it is the ground growing below us, faster and faster with no way to stop it. With no way to control it. Helpless to the pull of gravity.

-----

A teammate of mine once shared her thoughts on Isaiah 40:31.

But they that wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

She had been going through a difficult season--her races weren't what she wanted them to be, she wasn't doing what she knew that she was capable of. She prayed for strength, received an answer, and leapt in faith. And she fell. The next race was the worst one yet--and she was confused.

As she pondered on this scripture, the thought occurred to her that we do not have wings as eagles. Nothing in our power can change that. But as we turn to the Lord, we can do all things--even impossible things. We can become something that we weren't on our own. We can fly.

-----

I guess that's something that we all have to learn somewhere along the way. We can do things beyond what we can imagine now, but only if we let go. It takes letting go of our own plans, our own ideas, and allowing ourselves to be shaped into what His plans for us are. It takes change, and we must allow that change. It takes trust, and hope, and belief that things will be alright in the end. That, though the ground is growing nearer and nearer, we "shall mount up with wings as eagles."

And we will fly.

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Conference weekly here.

With Everlasting Truth

"Of all the creations of the Almighty there is none more beautiful, none more inspiring than a lovely daughter of God who walks in virtue with an understanding of why she should do so, who honors and respects her body as a thing sacred and divine, who cultivates her mind and constantly enlarges the horizon of her understanding, who nurtures her spirit with everlasting truth."

-President Gordon B. Hinckley, here

And sometimes that's all that you need to hear. 

Here I Am

I guess there are just those days when you stare into the mirror. Not at yourself, but past yourself. Beyond the outward, physical existence. Into yourself. You stare because you want to see who you are. 

But it doesn't come in words. 

It comes in images, in memories. It comes in hopes and dreams. It comes in prayers once said and conversations once had. It comes in kind words expressed, and maybe some not-so-kind ones too. It comes from the deepest depths of somewhere. Somewhere.

I'm not really sure where somewhere is.

But here is what I do know:

I am happiest when the day begins with a run, followed by a large breakfast and a slew of daily vitamins.

I want to be a student for the remainder of my life.

I cannot wait to graduate already.

Nothing says comfort food like cereal.

I drink Milo when I miss Fiji terribly.

I find comfort in knowing that, when goodbyes are hard, at least it means it was something worthwhile.

I want to be a better person.

My Heavenly Father knows and loves me. 

Precipitation in any form is a cause for celebration.

I know that the Book of Mormon is true.

I sure am proud of those boys serving missions.

Service is the best way to love life now.

"All things denote there is a God."

I curl up with the quilts my mom made me when I'm homesick.

The idea of being bored is exciting to me.

I don't read nearly as much as I have always intended to.

A letter in the mail will always make any day a good one.

I am never alone.

My family is incredible.

Some things are worth doing just for the sake of telling the story later.

I have a very real obsession with drinking water.

I love cleaning stoves.

Peanut butter has a place on every type of food. 

I am always down for a cheeseburger of any size.

I love scars and bruises and scrapes.

I firmly believe that eating onions makes my mouth taste like an armpit.

I don't know how to pack.

Breaking down certain walls is scary, but always always worth it.

Aprons are meant to be worn all day and everywhere.

Ponytails give me headaches. 

My main motivation to keeping my hair long is to be able to braid it.

Pencil skirts are a lot cuter when I'm not trying to run in them.

Same with heels.

And backpacks.

I go barefoot whenever possible.

I named my phone Jimmy.

Writing in my journal keeps me sane.

I always tag Facebook pictures right on the person's nose.

Good food is always a good present.

I can do anything that I set my mind to--but I sometimes forget that.

I am desperately, hopelessly, and irrevocably in love with life.

In all those countless moments of staring through the blur and past the toothpaste speckles, at least I've found this much.

I Am a Child of God

And so are you.

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Conference weekly here.

{Thoughts} Growing Roots

People don't usually believe me when I tell them that I'm shy. I am though. It isn't rare for me to slink back into the most hidden corner that I can find when I go somewhere new. A part of me hopes that a kind soul will reach out and offer a friendship, but mostly I hope that no one will see me and no one will  notice me. I guess it just comes down to a fear of the friendship lasting no longer than the hour that we're there, and then me being left back where I started. Sometimes it's easier to be alone than to have someone and lose them.

People probably don't believe me because I try to act otherwise. Rather than waiting to be plopped into the perfect pot of dirt to grow in, pick up the shovel and start digging yourself.

Easier said than done, right?

I was once told that you should always make wherever you are home. Even if you only think you'll be there for two months--even if you'll only be there two weeks. Be where your feet are. Immerse yourself in the moment. Strive to be your very best--always.

Photo Credit

You may not be planted where you always thought that you would be. Instead, you are creating more beauty than you will ever know.

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Conference Weekly talk found here.

{Nostalgia} The Reality of Reality

I didn't sleep that night.

I was too busy shoving everything I owned into white trash bags and plastic bins.

My move-in time was 6 AM, it was about midnight, and I had only just begun packing. My mind was intensely focused on those trash bags--on my clothes going into them, on the stack of my belongings growing in the corner. Somewhere in the very back of my mind was that nagging, that fear. I guess you could really just call it reality. But I was so determined to ignore that uncertainty that I buried myself deeper and deeper into those garbage bags, furiously packing, with an occasional pause to look around, to reminisce.

I lived with my aunt and uncle that summer. About 20 minutes from where all the goings on were happening, since everyone I knew hadn't moved to Springville with me. I worked full time at my dad's dental office, and kept one of every kind of outfit in the trunk of my car. In hindsight, I realize that reality came more gradually than it felt like it did. It just pretended to not see it until it was all that I could see--shielding my eyes to everything but the last speck of innocence until that, too, had faded.

I was scared. I didn't admit it to myself or anyone else, but I was absolutely terrified. So much was ahead, and I didn't know anything. At 5 AM, my sister and I loaded up my uncle's old beater truck, and I spent the entire 20 minute drive in filled with an emotion that came nothing short of ecstasy because I had so missed driving a stick shift. We pulled into the lonely parking lot, and spent a good half an hour searching for someone--anyone--who could help me check into my new home for the next eight months.

I didn't want to call the number that was posted on every single door. I didn't want anyone to have to wake up at my expense. But, when it had been long enough, I finally caved under the logic that the phone number was posted for a reason. Five minutes later, an RA had walked me through the basic mechanics of a fire extinguisher, and I had a key to my apartment.

We made it into the apartment just fine. But, try as I might, I could not get the key to turn in my bedroom door. I sheepishly called that poor man again, asking if there was a magic trick to make the door open. He came to help and quickly informed me that I was trying to open the wrong door.

Tori will never let me live that down.

This is my, "What are you doing over there?" face.

The reality of it all is that it was always reality. Every moment just as real as the next. Every moment growing and climbing and learning. Falling, too. In fear or inadequacy. But always picking back up and continuing onward.

Still, this moment felt especially real. Starting something absolutely new. I was on my own, but I came armed with a drive to succeed that came from who knows where. I guess I'll have to find it again, though, because this is going to happen all over again on Monday.

And even though I've done it before, I don't feel any less afraid.

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Conference Weekly talk found here.

His Divine Sacrifice

Snapshots and quotes from a weekend of love, inspiration, devotion, and revelation. We are lead by living prophets by a loving and living Savior. For more about General Conference, go here.

To read any of the full addresses from which the following quotes are taken, visit this link. [The quotes come in the same order as the list.]

"Sometimes the most powerful way to teach our children to understand a doctrine is to teach in the context of what they are experiencing right at that moment." 

-Sister Cheryl A. Esplin

"The Lord wants the members of His Church to be fully converted to His gospel." 

-President Donald L. Hallstrom

"The feeling of love from our Heavenly Father is like a gravitational pull from heaven. As we remove the distractions that pull us toward the world and exercise our agency to seek Him, we open our hearts to a celestial force which draws us toward Him." 

-Elder Paul E. Koelliker

"I am confident that our Heavenly Father's arms are constantly extended, ever ready to embrace each one of us and say to each one with that quiet, piercing voice, 'I love you.'" 

-Elder Paul E. Koelliker

"Knowing what my Savior did for me--His grace in suffering for my sins and in overcoming death so I can live again--I feel privileged to make the small sacrifice I am asked to make in His service." 

-Elder Dallin H. Oaks

"It is never too late to strengthen the foundation of faith. There is always time."

-President Henry B. Eyring

"His concern is for the faith at which you finally arrive, not the hour of the day in which you got there."

-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

"Let the redemptive, loving power of Jesus Christ brighten your life now and fill you with the hope of eternal promise. Take courage. Have faith and hope. Consider the present with fortitude and look to the future with confidence."

-Elder David S. Baxter

"You can't be right by doing wrong; you can't be wrong by doing right."

-President Thomas S. Monson 

[quoted by Elder Ulisses Soares]

"Mothers and fathers praying with children may be more important than any other example."

-Elder Quentin L. Cook

"Persistence is the answer, and a sense of humor helps."

-Elder Quentin L. Cook

"I'm grateful that that same support can come from a beloved companion on the other side of the veil. Thank you, Jeanene."

-Elder Richard G. Scott

"When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following: Stop it!"

-President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

"For the Atonement of the Lord and His gift of resurrection--for this sublime message of Easter--thanks be to God!" 

-Elder Russell M. Nelson

"Where did we come from? Why are we here? Where do we go after this life? No longer need these universal questions remain unanswered."

-President Thomas S. Monson

"Remove any of your fear with faith. Trust in the power of God to guide you."

-Elder M. Russell Ballard

"Of all the help we can give ... young people, the greatest will be to let them feel our confidence and that they are on the path home to God and that they can make it."

-President Henry B. Eyring

[quoted by Elder Larry Y. Wilson]

"As you ask, 'What thinks Christ of me?' you will know that you are His disciple; you are His friend. By His grace He will do for you what you cannot do for yourself."

-Elder Neil L. Andersen

"I assure you that our Heavenly Father is mindful of the challenges we face. He loves each of us and desires to bless us and help us. May we call upon Him in prayer."

-President Thomas S. Monson

I'll Say Crazy

Well kiddies, I have exciting news. I finally made my way on over to the Festival of Colors. (Never you mind the fact that I have lived here for quite some time and this event happens every year...cough cough...) Oh, you don't believe me? You want proof? I thought you'd never ask, I'd be happy to oblige.

Here's some more crazy for ya: the semester is nearly over. And we can thank the heavens above for that, because it is simply time. I'm ready to bring these classes to a close and be homeless for a weekend. (More on that in a post to come.)

In other news...

There are two weeks that come around every year that I can rarely focus on anything at all because I am so excited. This is one of those weeks.

General Conference is this weekend, and I absolutely cannot wait. (Please visit this link to learn more about it. Also, check out the button on my sidebar.) My roommates and I will have the opportunity to attend one session in the actual conference center.

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Isn't it beautiful? Every one of those 21,333 seats will be filled--and I will spend two hours sitting in one of them. This will be a most wonderful weekend.

His Strongest Runners

"There will be days when you feel defeated, exhausted, and plain old beat-up by life's whiplash. People you love will disappoint you--and you will disappoint them. You'll probably struggle with some kind of mortal appetite. Some days it will feel as though the veil between heaven and earth is made of reinforced concrete. And you may even face a crisis of faith. In fact, you can count on trials that test your testimony and your faith...

Now is the day when His kingdom is being established once and for all, never again to be taken from the earth. This is the last leg of the relay. This is when He needs His strongest runners."

-Sheri L. Dew, "You Were Born to Lead, You Were Born for Glory"

State track, 2010. My nerves are hidden behind the smile.

With three years of high school track and four of high school cross country under my belt, I have had my fair share of running relays. I've run every leg possible at one time or another, and I have to admit that I certainly enjoyed running the second leg best--I always felt the least pressure there. There, I was coming in after my first teammate had already run and no one could definitely tell how I was placing compared to other relay teams. There were still two more legs to follow me, so there was no particular hurry to pull ahead, and all I had to do was run hard and hand off the baton.

Generally, I only ever ran relays for the fun of it anyway. My events were the mile and 2-mile. I ran long and hard, and most crowds simply don't feel like watching a relay of four girls each running a 2-mile race.  And understandably so--if I weren't such a running nerd, I'd feel the same way. When I did run a relay, though, it was often the 4x800 during indoor track, every so often a sprint medley team's 800 leg, and on rare occasions I'd run a 400 leg. (A distance girl can only shrink her races down so far before placing begins to suffer significantly.) It was all random, and I enjoyed the laid back races my relays often were.

But junior year was different.

The girls' head coach decided to put together a real sprint medley team. Not one that we threw together the day of the meet, but one that consistently ran together at every meet with a same end goal: state. It didn't matter how we qualified, it didn't matter what it took, we were going to state.

The sprint medley is an interesting race. Two 200 meter legs, a 400 meter, and an 800 meter to finish. One mile divided by four girls, and I was chosen to run the 800 leg--half the distance of the race, and about as short as I could go and still do reasonably well. The legs are always run in the above listed order, which placed me, for no reason other than standard protocol, as the final leg.

Each race, I stood and watched my teammates run their best. I cheered, I hoped, I prayed. I jumped in excitement, and clenched my teeth in apprehension. "Yesyesyes," "gogogo," and "come ooooonnnnn, comeoncomeoncomeon" became new and commonly used parts of my vocabulary--often whispered under my breath as I circled around, watching each stride around the all-weather track (which was expected to live up to its name every meet). 

But the moment that baton was placed in my hand, it no longer mattered what had happened in the first three legs. Whether the other girls had run well or not, it was always up to me to pull it in and finish our race strong. The girls ran hard, they gave their best, and I was expected to do the same--plus pick up any slack that may have been left along the way. That is simply the nature of the final leg, no matter the race. 

And so, here we are in the final leg of the race against sin. We, however, have been placed in this leg for more valid a reason than the "standard protocol" order of events. Each of us have been placed here because the Lord knows that we can handle it. He knows that we will fight for the truth, He knows us to be His strongest runners.

There is a lot of weight carried in that knowledge--weight to carry, but also to strengthen. What more comforting, encouraging, and uplifting knowledge can we have than to know that our Father in Heaven trusts most absolutely in our ability? 

If God, who knows all, has enough faith in you to send you here as His strongest runner, can't you find the faith in yourself to run your best?

He is counting on you. He is counting on each of us. He knows your potential--He has seen what you have done, and what you can yet do. He knows what you can become. Trust that He has sent you to earth at this time for a purpose, trust that you are strong enough, and trust that He will strengthen you beyond your own abilities. You are never alone. You are running this race with others against sin, and those who have come before and will yet come are cheering from the sidelines.

And through it all, you will be further strengthened and become more able to thrive through the challenges. You will see the Lord's guiding hand. And, if you choose to listen, you will hear the affirmations that you are, indeed, one of His strongest runners--destined for greatness.

Whatever Difficulties Might

He told me I should never get discouraged, whatever difficulties might surround me. If I were sunk in the lowest pit of Nova Scotia and all the Rocky Mountains piled on top of me, I ought not to be discouraged, but hang on, exercise  faith, and keep good courage, and I should come on top.

-George A. Smith, speaking of his cousin, the prophet Joseph Smith

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Daringly Optimistic

Today was the first time I heard that phrase--daringly optimistic. She was a mother of four boys, one of whom was severely handicapped. He was expected to live a maximum of two years, though it was more likely that he would return to his heavenly home after just a few short weeks. Both estimates were wrong--Caleb lived to bless his family with his presence for seven years.

She was daringly optimistic through it all. She dared to fight reason, to disregard physical limitations, to overturn emotional barriers. She dared to see the beauty and the blessings of what others may have deemed a trial. She dared to live and love with all that she had. She dared to make her heart vulnerable as she strengthened those of others. She dared to believe in God, in His plan, and in His power. She trusted God, because she knew God. Against all odds, she was daringly optimistic in every way.

And I thought, "I want that to be me."

Dare to see the good, to feel the joy, to experience the beauty of life. Dare to love the ride. Dare to live and laugh and love. Dare to love beyond fear. Dare to hope beyond reason. Dare to trust in an unseen God. Dare to see His hand in all things--dare to be guided by His light in the darkest of times.

After all, it takes a few clouds to make the most brilliant of sunsets.

In His Love

There's that nagging again. It comes and it goes. Sometimes it stays longer than others, but always it's just persistent enough to be noticed and not quite enough to be recognized.

Tap. Tap tap. Something, from somewhere, tapping. And man, that tapping sure is stubborn.  That tapping just won't stop. As if to say, "Hey! Hey you! Hey you, wake up down there! Hey, remember me? Remember where you're headed? Don't you remember what you want, what your goal is? Don't you remember why you're here in the first place? Don't you remember who I am?"

Have you ever felt homesick for a home you can't quite remember? There are moments when I catch a glimpse--just a split second--of a place where everything feels right, where things fell into place a long time ago and won't be moving any time soon. And it feels so familiar. I have been there before, and I long to return. But just as I catch hold of the image in my mind, it slips away--only to visit again for another fleeting moment.

I imagine the Nephites felt similarly when Christ came to visit them. It must have felt so familiar, as if they were getting a glimpse into the home they once knew. When the time came for Him to leave, they looked "steadfastly upon him as if they would ask him to tarry a little longer" (3 Nephi 17:5). They had just caught hold of that fleeting moment and were nowhere near ready to let it go. In all His compassion and glory, Christ was moved to show unto the Nephites as He had to those in Jerusalem--He healed their sick and afflicted, He blessed their children, He prayed for them.

I was once told that the greatest service you can ever do for anyone is to pray for them. What power there is in that statement. The nearest we can come to charity--to feeling and acting upon Christ's pure love--is prayer. Always accessible, always available, prayer.

Christ prays for us. Of the multitudes surrounding Christ during His visit to the Americas, it is written, "No one can conceive of the joy which filled our souls at the time we heard him pray for us unto the Father." Imagine the power of this moment--imagine the peace and the joy, imagine hearing your Lord and Savior praying to your Father in Heaven for you. I cannot comprehend a moment where I would feel more encircled about in His love than that.

Perhaps, through faith, we might longer hold to that glimpse of home. Perhaps that fleeting moment might "tarry a little longer." Perhaps, through our faith we, as the woman in Jerusalem, can catch hold of the hem of His garment and truly be healed.

Photo Credit

One Step at a Time

Here is how it goes down. Before the month of February comes to a close, I will successfully complete the following: a quiz, two papers, five exams, and scholarship applications. In addition to the usual load of everyday craziness. Finals week is going to be a piece of cake by comparison--there's a plus.

This is me. Until July.

"And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up."

-Doctrine and Covenants 84:88

Morning Done Right

Prayer + run = a morning well done.

One of my favorite times to pray is while I'm running. There's something about running away from everyday life, from the absolute insanity of a hair-infested apartment filled with six busy college girls, stepping outside and just enjoying the beauty of the world that God created for us.

And besides, how can you deny a view like this?

Man, I sure do love the temple. I couldn't think of a single place I'd rather be on a Tuesday morning.

Click here to watch a video of church leaders expressing their thoughts on the temple and here for answers to common questions about the temple.

May we make whatever sacrifices are necessary to attend the temple and to have the spirit of the temple in our hearts and in our homes.

-President Thomas S. Monson

Saving Lives

There was a blood drive on campus yesterday. As I rushed back to my apartment for a faster-than-a-sub-2-hour-marathon lunch before I ran off to my internship, I saw the sign announcing an opportunity to save three lives and get a free t-shirt while I was at it. 

Words cannot describe the conflict my soul felt in that moment.

"It won't take that long," I argued to myself, "It just barely started--I bet there's not even a line."

"But you haven't even had lunch yet," myself argued back. "Also, you most certainly did not sleep enough last night...or did you? I can't remember. Well, if you can't remember how much you slept, it's only safe to assume that the memory loss can be attributed to sleep deprivation."

"What if I just grab a quick and oh-so-delicious pork barbacoa wrap, eat it on my way, and then save three lives?"

"The lines might have appeared by then. So then you'd have to wait in line, answer all of those dumb but important questions, actually give blood, recover, walk back to your apartment, make yourself dinner to eat in your Book of Mormon class, walk back to your car and drive to your internship. Honey, I guarantee there is not enough time for that today."

Whoops, apparently I got a little sassy with myself there.

In the end, myself won. The self that wanted me to forgo the blood-giving, that is. Despite the fact that I rarely pass up the opportunity to kill three birds with one stone (that may not have been the best phrase to use in conjunction with life-saving), my selfish self did have an incredibly valid and influential set of points.

Regardless, I may not have saved three lives through the giving of my very own [here is where I google a synonym for "blood" and come up with the result "mass murder"--you can fill in this blank as you please] but I was repeatedly told that I am a life-saver for loaning a poor soul a pen for about three seconds.

One life saved, two to go.

In other news, I found a most glorious quote from a most inspired man of God which falls splendidly in line with this whole life-saving business.

"The Savior taught His disciples, 'For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it' (Luke 9:24). 

I believe the Savior is telling us that unless we lose ourselves in service to others, there is little purpose to our own lives. Those who live only for themselves eventually shrivel up and figuratively lose their lives, while those who lose themselves in service to others grow and flourish--and in effect save their lives."
-President Thomas S. Monson, "What Have I Done for Someone Today?"

How grateful I am to have living prophets and apostles to turn to for guidance in this day. What a blessing it is to have their words to add to the words of the prophets of old.

Well, I best be off to conquer the world, one college assignment at a time. Check back for January quotes--coming soon to a Dani Girl Days blog near you.

Happy Friday!