Friday, December 31, 2010

December Quotes

I decided to start a tradition. At the end of every month I will post my collection of entertaining quotes that I've gathered in the past four weeks. Some may be inside jokes, some may be funny to most, but all are funny to me. Today marks the beginning of a wonderful adventure.

Dania: Okay, we need to be funny on Wednesday, it's crunch time.
McKann: I think we can arrange that.

Tyler: I cannot do it without being seductive.

Andrew: He is so money. If he were an object, he would be a money bag.

Clinton: (Pointing to the empty page turner seat by the piano) Can I get one of these?

Mom: The good thing about driving through a construction zone is that when I sing I have vibrato.

Becky: Somehow it was a race on the water.
Grandma: Well there's a high esteem of yourself.

Tori: But I don't want to be soft clay in the hands of the Lord...

Tori: And we will pour smoothies on his lap to see how he handles anger.

Dania: Oh no, where'd his booger go?
Dania and Tori: It's on his hand!

Mom: Judge not the judger, or the judger judger you shall be.

Mom: What did I say that was funny a minute ago? I said something funny and I wanna think about it.

Mom: It's a buffalo, those are buffalos! Well who just has buffalos?! We are in the wild west!

Jacob: Your secrets tickle my ear.

Tori: If I get held back, I'm gonna ROCK 2nd grade next year.

Dania: I'm really scared of being a widow.
Bronwen: I know, me too! I'm gonna marry a really, really old guy. So that he dies first.
Dania: That doesn't work.

Catie: Oh, sorry, would you like a small piece of chocolate shaped like a teardrop?

Catie: That's probably what the seven dwarves say. "Happy Christmas Happy! Happy Christmas Dopey!"

Bronwen: And it was this triangle of fury!

Jacob: We won't all be together for five years. Babies grow out of diapers in that time.

Steph: (As she put her sweater in the seat in front of her) I'm just gonna save a spot for my beloved.

Jacob: Would the water be as sweet if you didn't have to...nevermind.

Jacob: Did he sweep you off your feet?
Steph: Uh, kinda.
Dania: Literally?
Steph: Figuratively.

Ben: Quick! Let's do that lift! Now put your leg over my neck...

Jacob: I don't actually know much about kissing...
Steph: Ya, I can't help you much in that department.

Jacob: That was a good bump. Good thing no one was kissin'.

Steph: Did she kiss you? Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Tyler: Me, being the innocent VL that I am...

Ben: Can somebody please explain to me how you can be half VL?!

Steph: Oslo sounds like something I would name my dog.
Tyler: It sounds like a country in Norway.

Ben: So you weren't kissing, you were touching lips.

Steph: You're so VL you can barely say the word.

Tori: I'm only cool when I have to be.

Steve: Who takes their girlfriend to the temple to break up with them?
Grandma: Well it's pretty safe, you can't get mad at them, you can't physically assault them.

Mom: So if you buy that lipstick you gain 46 heads?

Tori: Wild unicorns are dangerous.

Mom: (On a foggy day) Are we driving into heaven, or what?

Young Tori: It's comfortable...even though it hurts...

Young Tori: I can only go cross-eyed with one eye.

Young Dania: Dad, I'm a news reporter now, so leave me alone!

Dania: I've clearly been on Facebook too much. Everything that happens reminds me of something I saw on it.

Mom: Your kids can call me Grams. Like graham crackers. A little bit crispy but really sweet.

Tori: He's a freshman, and his voice breaks a lot.
Jacob: Do you find that to be attractive?
Tori: No, I find it to be hilarious.

Jacob: It means they are flocking to her like bees to a nectar filled flower.

Dania: I hate reverse tricks me.

Tori: At EFY I danced with a boy with huge muscles. I could feel them through his shirt and I was like, "Woah."

Tune in next time for more entertainment.


  1. My favorite is you and Bronwen about widows. That was hilarious.

  2. I definitely approve of this new tradition.