Fun fact: I am going on a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I will be serving in the Brazil São Paulo West Mission, speaking Portuguese, from August 2013 to February 2015. For those who struggle with calendar math (such as myself), that's 18 months in which I will be a full-time missionary in a foreign country, on a different continent, speaking a language that I currently don't know. While I am doing all of this, I will be completely dedicated to teaching the gospel of Jesus Christ. (Go here for more information about what a mission is. Or feel free to ask me any questions you may have!)
There will come a time in which I have much, much more to say about what all of this means to me. In fact, those posts are currently drafts.
But I wish to post something in the meanwhile. So stay tuned for the deeper stuff, it's on its way.
You know, my mom sometimes tells a story of my younger self. She always sang a lullaby when she tucked us in at night--usually whatever we chose. "Oh, Hush Thee, My Baby," was among the favorites. But it didn't take me long to catch on to something: my sneaky mother was trying to con me into thinking I was still a baby. And guess what? It wasn't working. On at least one occasion, my fiery red-headed self boldly informed my mom that, "I'm not a baby. I'm a big girl." And, in order to appease me, she changed the words. "Oh, hush thee, my big girl; a story I'll tell..."
(She also tells a story about my 18-month-old self running away from her, wagging my finger and yelling, "No no, Mommy, no no." But that is another tale for another day.)
I report to the missionary training center in 44 days and counting. Which means the deadline is fast approaching. The little details can't be overlooked for much longer--like the fact that I have only purchased a fraction of the wardrobe I will be needing to get me through 18 months of missionary service. So I'm becoming increasingly aware of the things that need to be taken care of and, apparently, so is my mother.
Every so often, my mom contacts me with various questions. It's usually sparked by troubles that other members of our congregation are having as they work through preparations for their missions, so the questions are along the lines of, "So-and-so is having trouble with his visa because of this, have you done that?" And I remind her that I was applying from the other end of the country and I applied through a different consulate.
Sometimes, however, the conversations are more varied. The following are samples of things I have said to my mother regarding my mission:
"Yes, I have been checking my church email. But remember, my mission is a new one and won't open until July. It doesn't exist yet."
"No, I can't go to Canada--I don't have a passport. Don't panic, I have a passport, but not with me. Yes, I know I will need it to get into Brazil. Mom, the church has my passport. They'll send it to me a week before I go to the MTC. I don't know how my visa status is, they'll tell me a week before I report if I'm going straight to Brazil or if I'm going to Provo first."
"I know I need clothes. Yes, I will need a suitcase. Mom, I can't bring that to Brazil with me--it's a giant teddy bear, I don't have room in my suitcase."
"Okay, I will try my hardest to get a present to Benny before Christmas. But remember how the mail is there. Sometimes the post office goes on strike and things."
"Yes, I've heard of the protests happening in Brazil, but who told you? Mom, you cannot keep reading the news about Brazil. It'll put you in a panic! You don't need to be that informed. I'll write you and tell you how things are going. Mom! This is like the time you watched a video of a hip replacement surgery before you got the surgery. You thought you needed to be informed then, too, and it turned out to be a horrible idea. Mom, really, don't follow the news in Brazil."
I am of the firm belief that my mom and I will be having the same conversations for the remainder of . . . forever. Because apparently we've had this one before. And you know how it ended?
If I recall the story correctly, the song went along the lines of something like, "Oh, hush thee, my big girl."
Showing posts with label Conversations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Conversations. Show all posts
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Monday, July 2, 2012
June 2012 Quotes
Alex: I'm pretty sure that's an unwritten 11th commandment.
Leslie: You don't need a husband, you just need a puppy!
Leslie: Is that what boogers are? Recycled thoughts?
Jaron: You could've just sat there quietly, with your thumb in my hand. But no!
Alex: Okay, keep fluttering the eyes. It looks good.
Jasmine: At least his plane didn't crash. Then he wouldn't be texting anyone.
Steve: [to my baby cousin, Josie] You'll make a natural bartender!
Steve: Life's just not complete till you're a felon!
Alex: That's what you get for working it! I'm not sure what you're working, but you're working it.
Jasmine: They should just air condition the whole earth. Then the polar ice caps wouldn't have to melt!
Michael: Have you ever broken a butt before?
Michael: If I was a guy, I wouldn't date me.
Michael: I only sit on guys that I like.
Deb: We talk about crushes, and we talk about crinkles. Let's go one step back and call it a fold.
Tim: I'm a man, I don't use aloe vera.
Tim: I'm not doodling, I'm drawing a vampire face.
Tim: There, now it's righteous doodling!
Catie: You just snotted on my neck!
Dania: But you love me anyway.
Catie: Of course I do! If I didn't like your snot, I would've stopped hanging out with you a long time ago.
Catie: Oh, I was going to tell you about twinkling suits!
Eve: A funeral director. That's like, the opposite of a wedding planner.
Catie: No, I think that would be like a nurse...[pause]...for babies...
Catie: No, I was over on the couch by myself. Where I usually am.
Eve: That's like his Swedish Viking friend that you might meet tomorrow.
Eve: I yell "dude" like a swear word.
Karrah: I think they [men] just decided that it was uncomfortable, so they just made women wear it. "You must bear children and wear heels!"
Karrah: So much cheese, so little mouth.
Student: How comprehensive is the final?
Dr. Platt: Comprehensive.
Jasmine: Don't make us talk about bras again.
Alex: Oh, well I'd stay for that.
Dania: My workout is called standing up.
Jasmine: Alex is so weird, I'm so glad he left.
Alex: I hate that kid.
Jaron: Oh, I was just getting my healthy on.
Jaron: I need my lap buddy. Where's Michael?
Jaron: Why were you nuzzling my neck?
Jasmine: Because I love nuzzles.
Alex: Your hair is so tickley, it drives my face crazy.
Jasmine: He smiles at me like a boy should.
Deb: I'm gonna start going this way, and then down and over. Like a typewriter!
Vanese: I smell like tears!
Deb: [cough] I still have sandpeople in my throat.
Jaron: I'm gonna go eat ice cream and probably massage someone.
Jasmine: I'm waiting for you to get back into your book so I can slurp again.
Jasmine: I'm not trying to be annoying, I'm just trying to drink my ice cube.
Jasmine: Seriously, and you thought I was weird for making out with an ice cube?
Alex: I'd rather find a javelin and throw myself upon it.
Jasmine: You just ned someone to hel you with your backside.
Jasmine: I love some wit in the afternoon.
Tori: I always smell delicious. I also always look beautiful.
Tori: So, apparently he was asking me on a date and I didn't know it...How am I ever going to go on a date if I don't even know they're asking me on one?!
Tori: My thumbs are already losing circulation and will have to be amputated. Then how will I press the space bar?
Mom: And you're not good with adjustments. No offense, but you suck at it.
Leslie: You don't need a husband, you just need a puppy!
Leslie: Is that what boogers are? Recycled thoughts?
Jaron: You could've just sat there quietly, with your thumb in my hand. But no!
Alex: Okay, keep fluttering the eyes. It looks good.
Jasmine: At least his plane didn't crash. Then he wouldn't be texting anyone.
Steve: [to my baby cousin, Josie] You'll make a natural bartender!
Steve: Life's just not complete till you're a felon!
Alex: That's what you get for working it! I'm not sure what you're working, but you're working it.
Jasmine: They should just air condition the whole earth. Then the polar ice caps wouldn't have to melt!
Michael: Have you ever broken a butt before?
Michael: If I was a guy, I wouldn't date me.
Michael: I only sit on guys that I like.
Deb: We talk about crushes, and we talk about crinkles. Let's go one step back and call it a fold.
Tim: I'm a man, I don't use aloe vera.
Tim: I'm not doodling, I'm drawing a vampire face.
Tim: There, now it's righteous doodling!
Catie: You just snotted on my neck!
Dania: But you love me anyway.
Catie: Of course I do! If I didn't like your snot, I would've stopped hanging out with you a long time ago.
Catie: Oh, I was going to tell you about twinkling suits!
Eve: A funeral director. That's like, the opposite of a wedding planner.
Catie: No, I think that would be like a nurse...[pause]...for babies...
Catie: No, I was over on the couch by myself. Where I usually am.
Eve: That's like his Swedish Viking friend that you might meet tomorrow.
Eve: I yell "dude" like a swear word.
Karrah: I think they [men] just decided that it was uncomfortable, so they just made women wear it. "You must bear children and wear heels!"
Karrah: So much cheese, so little mouth.
Student: How comprehensive is the final?
Dr. Platt: Comprehensive.
Jasmine: Don't make us talk about bras again.
Alex: Oh, well I'd stay for that.
Dania: My workout is called standing up.
Jasmine: Alex is so weird, I'm so glad he left.
Alex: I hate that kid.
Jaron: Oh, I was just getting my healthy on.
Jaron: I need my lap buddy. Where's Michael?
Jaron: Why were you nuzzling my neck?
Jasmine: Because I love nuzzles.
Alex: Your hair is so tickley, it drives my face crazy.
Jasmine: He smiles at me like a boy should.
Deb: I'm gonna start going this way, and then down and over. Like a typewriter!
Vanese: I smell like tears!
Deb: [cough] I still have sandpeople in my throat.
Jaron: I'm gonna go eat ice cream and probably massage someone.
Jasmine: I'm waiting for you to get back into your book so I can slurp again.
Jasmine: I'm not trying to be annoying, I'm just trying to drink my ice cube.
Jasmine: Seriously, and you thought I was weird for making out with an ice cube?
Alex: I'd rather find a javelin and throw myself upon it.
Jasmine: You just ned someone to hel you with your backside.
Jasmine: I love some wit in the afternoon.
Tori: I always smell delicious. I also always look beautiful.
Tori: So, apparently he was asking me on a date and I didn't know it...How am I ever going to go on a date if I don't even know they're asking me on one?!
Tori: My thumbs are already losing circulation and will have to be amputated. Then how will I press the space bar?
Mom: And you're not good with adjustments. No offense, but you suck at it.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Life is Great, and Connecticut is Not a Desert.
I managed to leave my brand new pair of running shoes 2,300 miles away. And as much as I adore this video, it would be a little hard to reenact when the only love I have to run to is the pair of shoes I'd need to get there. Which is a bit of a problem, you know?
I can't just not run. Not running isn't an option. Even when I am dead, I will find a way to run. I think we established long ago that I am a runner through and through, but just in case you haven't caught on just yet, check out this Pinterest board of mine.
Now that we've removed any doubt, I will tell you good news. As it turns out, it's actually good to have a second pair of shoes to alternate with--you get a little more life out of them when they're allowed a little break every so often. You can't really blame them. I'd want a break too, if I had the job of a running shoe. So new plan: one pair for the summer, and I'll be able to alternate once I locate my missing pair somewhere in the depths of my Utah things.
I can't just not run. Not running isn't an option. Even when I am dead, I will find a way to run. I think we established long ago that I am a runner through and through, but just in case you haven't caught on just yet, check out this Pinterest board of mine.
Now that we've removed any doubt, I will tell you good news. As it turns out, it's actually good to have a second pair of shoes to alternate with--you get a little more life out of them when they're allowed a little break every so often. You can't really blame them. I'd want a break too, if I had the job of a running shoe. So new plan: one pair for the summer, and I'll be able to alternate once I locate my missing pair somewhere in the depths of my Utah things.
The trouble with getting new shoes is that I feel the need to take them on a run right away. I mean, look at these babies--they deserve to know what life is. Tomorrow is Sunday, and they just couldn't wait all the way until Monday morning. So, even though it was 90 degrees, I laced them up for the first (and only--I never untie my running shoes) time and took my first beautiful steps with my new best friends.
Then we kept going for four more miles.
And you know, it was glorious and all. I've missed running--this was my first real run since my marathon. (Oh hey, did I tell you I ran a marathon? June 9, 2012. 4:06:17. It was a blast. I'll get back to you on that.) I powered up High Valley with the sun blazing down, and I thought about how great it feels to start pulling myself back together after 10 months of college unraveling. But I learned something very distinctly.
I've always known that humidity makes everything in general more wet. (Like the toilet tank, for example. There is condensation on the toilet tank.) I knew it makes you feel like you never dried off after taking a shower, and I knew it makes you drip about ten times more sweat than you would where it evaporates off you in half a second. But I got a good laugh when a Fleet Feet worker came in the store and said to his coworker, "It's like a freaking desert out there--it's so hot and dry! The air just has no moisture in it." No, sir, Connecticut is not a desert. And until the entire state erupts into wildfires, I will stand my ground. Because here, it takes about three steps before I am absolutely dripping with sweat. To be entirely honest, that was a fantastic feeling--sweat pouring down my face as I took step after burning step, pushing my way up that enormous hill. It's been too long since I pushed myself just for the sake of it. Somewhere along those four miles, a found a piece of myself I had misplaced in the hustle and bustle of life.
Still, I think I'll wake up before the sun for my run on Monday. And every day after that.
Friday, June 1, 2012
May 2012 Quotes
Iris: He sat on me! And, what was I supposed to do? I gave him a wedgie.
Dr. Platt: So it really just turns into a tax on the poor. Is that really what we want?
Student: [quietly and sheepishly from the back] No.
Becca: Dania, you just have to spill out your heart to us. Just tell us everything that happened your freshman year. Especially, if you've kissed someone. [Bites her hair]
Becca: You just need to go find someone and kiss them right now! We have a camera!
Becca: Dania, change of subject. Have you AT LEAST held someone's hand?
Kristy: No, she asked us how many of us played the recorder...
Anonymous: Oh my gosh. Just because my lips have come in contact with somebody else's lips!
Michael: It's always good to think you're own funny.
Random Girl: You know what I realized? It's a very hipster thing to stay spring/summer. Like, hipsters are just drawn to it And I'm like, "Dang it."
Michael: Are you making fun of me because I'm eating my nose with my knee?
Seth: I thought about running a marathon once. And then I realized, I don't like running.
Michael: Oh, I always tried to figure out all the different ways I could flex my face.
Deb: I must be having a mini-stroke, because I haven't been speaking right all day.
Iris: How about you buy me a cookie with my own money?
Iris: I can't eat a whole foot! Of a sandwich!
Deb: It's the white toenail polish. And also that they're female. Guys have these knobby toes that are kind of hairy, and bordering on hobbit.
Deb: I could have said "feminine," and that would have been correct grammar. But why? I am outside of school.
Deb: Cause this way you don't have to build up the courage to walk in someone else's apartment.
Ken: Yeah, you just kid of walk by and window shop.
Deb: Ah, my silly T-90X keeps changing my words!
Deb: Oh boy oh boy oh boy! Guys, I love witty things in the morning!
Sister Mullen: Real men have spit up on their shoulders. Real men change diapers.
Coleman: Punch bug yellow!
Karrah: Where?!
Coleman: In the front of my imagination!
Kessa: There is just something about being in a place with cadavers.
Jasmine: This is such a good opportunity, I can't just turn this down! It's like when someone bends over, and you just slap their butt.
Jasmine: And I didn't want him to see me not knowing what to do with my arms!
Nick: I'm already pretty independent. I mean, I do my own laundry.
Steph: I'm accidentally undressing myself in the air!
Tim: No, of course I'm not cold. I'm a man!
Jasmine: Just put your arms around me, and everything will be okay.
Jasmine: Such a happy apartment with happy lips.
Karrah: [in a creepy, gravelly voice] I'll be your first kiss!
Jaron: I can't spell in the dark for some reason.
Iris: I just wish that he was a little bit cooler. I mean, he's cool. He's cool. He's just...not as cool as me.
Kessa: [slaps MMBio notebook on the table] Meet my boyfriend!
Iris: You're gonna get a really good guy, though. Hopefully he's not gay.
Random Girl: I haven't told him about getting hit by a car yet, cause that happened this week.
Karrah: I have a picnic pretty much every day.
Jasmine: Well, Miss I'm-in-a-Happy-Relationship.
Jasmine: I thought you were normal at first. You're not.
Jasmine: If you were a boy, this would be really romantic.
Jasmine: Can you buy alcohol online if you're 20?
Jaron: It's not cheating! It's winning!
Leslie: Oh, it's okay. I'm a ninja, otherwise I wouldn't dare.
Josh: Are my pectorals soft enough for you?
Jasmine: Shhhh.
Jaron: You're doing something that someone should have done a long time ago.
Jasmine: He's even marrying someone in our apartment.
Alex: And I'm still welcome.
Alex: Meh! Mebrah!
Alex: Brethren before...other people.
Deb: Forget the cake, let them eat dirt!
Wendy: Justin Bieber's coming? When is it? I wanna be out of town.
Random Guy: I still need to put a ring on it, but it's happening.
Joslyn: There should be a button, "Stare."
Dania: Have you ever heard of Flow?
Kessa: [pause] From Progressive?
Mom: It's in the 70s today, everyone's happy.
Mom: You're the best Dania in the whole world, don't die.
Random Guy: I feel like sometimes at prestigious schools, they make their buildings purposefully complicated. And then they can be like, "Did you get lost?"
Dr. Platt: Why would governments do this if it's all very common sense? There are a couple of answers, based off of how cynical you want to be.
Dr. Platt: Well, it turns out that producers are people too.
Dr. Platt: A more specialized company like, say, rocket fuel. There's really only one place for that to go--rockets.
[Dr. Platt telling a story about taking his son to Toys-R-Us]
Dr. Platt's son: I wish all the toys were free!
[insert conversation involving, "What do you think would happen to all of the toys if they were free?" and "Who do you think would make all the toys if they were all free?"]
Dr. Platt's son: I wish all the toys were free for me!
Dr. Platt: That parking spot over by the FOB is going to be valued pretty highly. And it's probably going to be paid by Jim Kearl.
Dr. Platt: Someone comes up to you, sticks a gun in your chest and says, "Your money or your life." Now, technically, you're still making a trade.
Dr. Platt: Loud phone conversations--especially in the movie theater--should be punishable by death.
Dr. Platt: [referencing the imaginary man on his phone in the movie theater] Dude. I will strangle you.
Dr. Platt: There's no way to know whose that is. "Here's my whale, don't touch it." This is true of all whales.
Dr. Platt: They even made a Star Trek episode out of it. It must've been a big issue, if Spok's gonna get involved.
Dr. Platt: Cows have no threat of extinction. There will not be a Star Trek about the extinction of the cows.
Dr. Platt: Not one graph! You should almost suspect that something's up! [Pause] It's not.
Dr. Platt: [talking about his car--the plum among the lemons] Literally, I'm gonna drive this thing till the wheels fall off and it melts underneath.
Dr. Platt: In some places they use really risky ways, like, excavating using nuclear weapons.
Dr. Platt: You've probably never seen a pie graph with a negative slice in it.
Dr. Platt: If there's an increase, we call it "inflation." If there's a decrease, we call it "deflation." If there's no change, we don't call it anything. We won't call it, "flation."
Dr. Platt: Some are saying we might go to $4/gallon, which means new record! Yay!
Dr. Platt: So it really just turns into a tax on the poor. Is that really what we want?
Student: [quietly and sheepishly from the back] No.
Becca: Dania, you just have to spill out your heart to us. Just tell us everything that happened your freshman year. Especially, if you've kissed someone. [Bites her hair]
Becca: You just need to go find someone and kiss them right now! We have a camera!
Becca: Dania, change of subject. Have you AT LEAST held someone's hand?
Kristy: No, she asked us how many of us played the recorder...
Anonymous: Oh my gosh. Just because my lips have come in contact with somebody else's lips!
Michael: It's always good to think you're own funny.
Random Girl: You know what I realized? It's a very hipster thing to stay spring/summer. Like, hipsters are just drawn to it And I'm like, "Dang it."
Michael: Are you making fun of me because I'm eating my nose with my knee?
Seth: I thought about running a marathon once. And then I realized, I don't like running.
Michael: Oh, I always tried to figure out all the different ways I could flex my face.
Deb: I must be having a mini-stroke, because I haven't been speaking right all day.
Iris: How about you buy me a cookie with my own money?
Iris: I can't eat a whole foot! Of a sandwich!
Deb: It's the white toenail polish. And also that they're female. Guys have these knobby toes that are kind of hairy, and bordering on hobbit.
Deb: I could have said "feminine," and that would have been correct grammar. But why? I am outside of school.
Deb: Cause this way you don't have to build up the courage to walk in someone else's apartment.
Ken: Yeah, you just kid of walk by and window shop.
Deb: Ah, my silly T-90X keeps changing my words!
Deb: Oh boy oh boy oh boy! Guys, I love witty things in the morning!
Sister Mullen: Real men have spit up on their shoulders. Real men change diapers.
Coleman: Punch bug yellow!
Karrah: Where?!
Coleman: In the front of my imagination!
Kessa: There is just something about being in a place with cadavers.
Jasmine: This is such a good opportunity, I can't just turn this down! It's like when someone bends over, and you just slap their butt.
Jasmine: And I didn't want him to see me not knowing what to do with my arms!
Nick: I'm already pretty independent. I mean, I do my own laundry.
Steph: I'm accidentally undressing myself in the air!
Tim: No, of course I'm not cold. I'm a man!
Jasmine: Just put your arms around me, and everything will be okay.
Jasmine: Such a happy apartment with happy lips.
Karrah: [in a creepy, gravelly voice] I'll be your first kiss!
Jaron: I can't spell in the dark for some reason.
Iris: I just wish that he was a little bit cooler. I mean, he's cool. He's cool. He's just...not as cool as me.
Kessa: [slaps MMBio notebook on the table] Meet my boyfriend!
Iris: You're gonna get a really good guy, though. Hopefully he's not gay.
Random Girl: I haven't told him about getting hit by a car yet, cause that happened this week.
Karrah: I have a picnic pretty much every day.
Jasmine: Well, Miss I'm-in-a-Happy-Relationship.
Jasmine: I thought you were normal at first. You're not.
Jasmine: If you were a boy, this would be really romantic.
Jasmine: Can you buy alcohol online if you're 20?
Jaron: It's not cheating! It's winning!
Leslie: Oh, it's okay. I'm a ninja, otherwise I wouldn't dare.
Josh: Are my pectorals soft enough for you?
Jasmine: Shhhh.
Jaron: You're doing something that someone should have done a long time ago.
Jasmine: He's even marrying someone in our apartment.
Alex: And I'm still welcome.
Alex: Meh! Mebrah!
Alex: Brethren before...other people.
Deb: Forget the cake, let them eat dirt!
Wendy: Justin Bieber's coming? When is it? I wanna be out of town.
Random Guy: I still need to put a ring on it, but it's happening.
Joslyn: There should be a button, "Stare."
Dania: Have you ever heard of Flow?
Kessa: [pause] From Progressive?
Mom: It's in the 70s today, everyone's happy.
Mom: You're the best Dania in the whole world, don't die.
Random Guy: I feel like sometimes at prestigious schools, they make their buildings purposefully complicated. And then they can be like, "Did you get lost?"
---------------------
And now for the Econ humor, which the majority of you probably won't find very funny at all...
Dr. Platt: Well, it turns out that producers are people too.
Dr. Platt: A more specialized company like, say, rocket fuel. There's really only one place for that to go--rockets.
[Dr. Platt telling a story about taking his son to Toys-R-Us]
Dr. Platt's son: I wish all the toys were free!
[insert conversation involving, "What do you think would happen to all of the toys if they were free?" and "Who do you think would make all the toys if they were all free?"]
Dr. Platt's son: I wish all the toys were free for me!
Dr. Platt: That parking spot over by the FOB is going to be valued pretty highly. And it's probably going to be paid by Jim Kearl.
Dr. Platt: Someone comes up to you, sticks a gun in your chest and says, "Your money or your life." Now, technically, you're still making a trade.
Dr. Platt: Loud phone conversations--especially in the movie theater--should be punishable by death.
Dr. Platt: [referencing the imaginary man on his phone in the movie theater] Dude. I will strangle you.
Dr. Platt: There's no way to know whose that is. "Here's my whale, don't touch it." This is true of all whales.
Dr. Platt: They even made a Star Trek episode out of it. It must've been a big issue, if Spok's gonna get involved.
Dr. Platt: Cows have no threat of extinction. There will not be a Star Trek about the extinction of the cows.
Dr. Platt: Not one graph! You should almost suspect that something's up! [Pause] It's not.
Dr. Platt: [talking about his car--the plum among the lemons] Literally, I'm gonna drive this thing till the wheels fall off and it melts underneath.
Dr. Platt: In some places they use really risky ways, like, excavating using nuclear weapons.
Dr. Platt: You've probably never seen a pie graph with a negative slice in it.
Dr. Platt: If there's an increase, we call it "inflation." If there's a decrease, we call it "deflation." If there's no change, we don't call it anything. We won't call it, "flation."
Dr. Platt: Some are saying we might go to $4/gallon, which means new record! Yay!
Thursday, May 3, 2012
April Quotes
Shayne: [singing] Happy birthday, full of tears and sadness!
Andrea: [gasp] We're gonna go in a car?!?!
Random Guy: Well, at least you're confusing. I mean, he hasn't figured you out yet.
Dania: Cadbury eggs do not count as an impulse buy!
Iris: Can I get my bean soup?
Shayne: No, you cannot get your bean soup. You have to listen.
Dania: At this point, I just can't even tell time apart anymore. Like, days and months feel the same to me.
Christian: Pretty sure days and months aren't the same. Maybe like, weeks and weeks.
Iris: [to Christian] If you had hair, that would've been really funny.
Iris: [speaking as if she were Hunter] I can't see you with my earphones on!
Iris: That's not a drink, that's diabetes.
Hunter: Shayne. You can't just put yourself in the fridge. You won't fit.
Alan: She does have cooties! That doesn't mean I can't be in love with her...
Andrea: I know this is random...but can you guys see the people in my knees?
Shayne: No, but I was dancing around in the handicapped stall!
Shayne: Let the sinner be the first to cast the stone...wait...
McCall: I'm a sinner!
Shayne: I need to pray. Profusely.
Dania: Like sweating. But with prayers.
McCall: I had another cat, Holly, but we put her to death.
McCall: We also used to have these guinea pigs--
Dania: Did you put them to death too?
McCall: No! They stayed alive.
Shayne: I don't need friends, I got a salad!
Shayne: You should have honked your tail lights or something!
Shayne: He's dated everyone in our apartment, except Iris.
Iris: That's because I'm Mexican.
Andrea: I feel weird drinking out of a bowl.
Iris: Dania, you need to get married. All this cuddly needs to be unleashed.
Iris: I feel like he's coming back too soon. I mean, I haven't gotten any skinnier.
Iris: You're so obsessed with mail, and you don't even have an address.
Dania: I like being homeless.
Iris: Yeah, I've never eaten this good!
Dania: [while trying to frown] My lips are quivering!
Dania: [to Iris] We are so funny. If you were a boy and we got married, we would be everybody's favorite couple.
Bronwen: I haven't seen a sunburn like that since the last time I saw you sunburned!
Seth: I don't put anything in my journal. NOt even writing.
Catie: Your teeth are absurdly close to my cheek.
[At the same time]
Dania: Put a shirt on!
Iris: Beautiful men!
Iris: It's okay, I forgave you a long time ago. And yet, I still hold a grudge.
Kessa: I am graceful when I'm not a klutz, thank you.
Nicole: Roommates are couples too.
Dr. Platt: If you find yourself enjoying this and you want to take more classes about it, chances are, you might have a particular kind of brain damage that would make you want to be an economist.
Dr. Platt: If you find yourself excited, keep going! You may find wonderland.
Dr. Platt: I dropped the negative sign. Economists have an annoying habit of doing this. I apologize for our whole profession.
Steph: You need butter in your diet! And your chex mix...
Andrew: What's the worst that could happen? You fall on your face.
Dr. Platt: But whether you use the chicken for the eggs or for the meat makes a big difference. Especially to the chicken.
Andrea: My hair gets stuck in my eyelashes until I can't see. And then I'm just blinking hairballs.
Andrea: Sometimes I wish I was a vegetable addict, but then I don't.
Shayne: CATCH MY FREAKING DRIFT, BROTHER!
Iris: I just wanna cryyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Or maybe, sing a song.
Kessa: I don't understand why boys don't just drop and worship her. Oh, well, okay...maybe that's sacrilegious. But still!
Iris: [through a full mouth] If I'm not eating, I'm not happy. That's the end of story.
Iris: I like your hair like that. Keep it. Don't ever wash it.
McCall: Every time I think of the word "flesh," I think of a cheese grater grating skin.
Iris: You guys. I want to eat ALL THE TIME. Tell me what I must do to not eat.
Andrea: [gasp] We're gonna go in a car?!?!
Random Guy: Well, at least you're confusing. I mean, he hasn't figured you out yet.
Dania: Cadbury eggs do not count as an impulse buy!
Iris: Can I get my bean soup?
Shayne: No, you cannot get your bean soup. You have to listen.
Dania: At this point, I just can't even tell time apart anymore. Like, days and months feel the same to me.
Christian: Pretty sure days and months aren't the same. Maybe like, weeks and weeks.
Iris: [to Christian] If you had hair, that would've been really funny.
Iris: [speaking as if she were Hunter] I can't see you with my earphones on!
Iris: That's not a drink, that's diabetes.
Hunter: Shayne. You can't just put yourself in the fridge. You won't fit.
Alan: She does have cooties! That doesn't mean I can't be in love with her...
Andrea: I know this is random...but can you guys see the people in my knees?
Shayne: No, but I was dancing around in the handicapped stall!
Shayne: Let the sinner be the first to cast the stone...wait...
McCall: I'm a sinner!
Shayne: I need to pray. Profusely.
Dania: Like sweating. But with prayers.
McCall: I had another cat, Holly, but we put her to death.
McCall: We also used to have these guinea pigs--
Dania: Did you put them to death too?
McCall: No! They stayed alive.
Shayne: I don't need friends, I got a salad!
Shayne: You should have honked your tail lights or something!
Shayne: He's dated everyone in our apartment, except Iris.
Iris: That's because I'm Mexican.
Andrea: I feel weird drinking out of a bowl.
Iris: Dania, you need to get married. All this cuddly needs to be unleashed.
Iris: I feel like he's coming back too soon. I mean, I haven't gotten any skinnier.
Iris: You're so obsessed with mail, and you don't even have an address.
Dania: I like being homeless.
Iris: Yeah, I've never eaten this good!
Dania: [while trying to frown] My lips are quivering!
Dania: [to Iris] We are so funny. If you were a boy and we got married, we would be everybody's favorite couple.
Bronwen: I haven't seen a sunburn like that since the last time I saw you sunburned!
Seth: I don't put anything in my journal. NOt even writing.
Catie: Your teeth are absurdly close to my cheek.
[At the same time]
Dania: Put a shirt on!
Iris: Beautiful men!
Iris: It's okay, I forgave you a long time ago. And yet, I still hold a grudge.
Kessa: I am graceful when I'm not a klutz, thank you.
Nicole: Roommates are couples too.
Dr. Platt: If you find yourself enjoying this and you want to take more classes about it, chances are, you might have a particular kind of brain damage that would make you want to be an economist.
Dr. Platt: If you find yourself excited, keep going! You may find wonderland.
Dr. Platt: I dropped the negative sign. Economists have an annoying habit of doing this. I apologize for our whole profession.
Steph: You need butter in your diet! And your chex mix...
Andrew: What's the worst that could happen? You fall on your face.
Dr. Platt: But whether you use the chicken for the eggs or for the meat makes a big difference. Especially to the chicken.
Andrea: My hair gets stuck in my eyelashes until I can't see. And then I'm just blinking hairballs.
Andrea: Sometimes I wish I was a vegetable addict, but then I don't.
Shayne: CATCH MY FREAKING DRIFT, BROTHER!
Iris: I just wanna cryyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Or maybe, sing a song.
Kessa: I don't understand why boys don't just drop and worship her. Oh, well, okay...maybe that's sacrilegious. But still!
Iris: [through a full mouth] If I'm not eating, I'm not happy. That's the end of story.
Iris: I like your hair like that. Keep it. Don't ever wash it.
McCall: Every time I think of the word "flesh," I think of a cheese grater grating skin.
Iris: You guys. I want to eat ALL THE TIME. Tell me what I must do to not eat.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
I am Strong Enough.
There are days when everything is overwhelming. There are days when it's all too much, and all you can do is sit down and eat spoonful after spoonful of peanut butter and chocolate chips. There are days when all you need is a storm--pouring rain to wash everything away. And sometimes, on those days, the clouds will come.
But sometimes they don't.
I turned the shower into a rainstorm. An absolute downpour. I stood with my face in the stream, coming in so fast that I hardly had time to get a breath before my mouth filled with warm, soothing, cleansing water. And as I stood there, barely breathing, I remembered something.
We were sitting in Stats 121 auditorium last semester, waiting among 700 other students for class to start. "I love seeing the moms go back to school," she said, as a woman in her 30s walked down the aisle a few rows down. The truth of that statement resonated within me. I remembered a time before.
Sitting outside the testing center--panicked as I studied for my first test of college. More like crammed. More like stared blankly at the heaping pile of notes I had yet to memorize. Somehow, through the frenzy, I entered a conversation with another freshman girl and a back-to-school mom. She made the both of us swear that we would graduate now, that we wouldn't let anything stop us. "Don't let those boys sweet talk you finishing later," she counseled us, "And do NOT start popping out those babies until you have graduated." Finish now, she told us. Before we have a family to look over, and bigger bills to pay. Before we're asked to commit to more than planning a church activity once a semester. Before life gets even crazier. And, as she spoke, I remembered something else.
I remembered my mom, being that very same. She was once the back-to-school mom. She was the one walking down the aisles of the classroom, waiting for class to begin. She was the one sitting outside the testing center, dreading walking up those two flights of stairs and handing over her student ID card. She may have been counseling young girls like me, I don't know. But what I do know is that with every step that she took on this very campus, she was an example and a source of strength to everyone around her--especially the young girls, just starting out and feeling very overwhelmed. I know because that is what those moms are to me now. They're a symbol of hope, in a way. They remind me that I can do it, that there is a very real and a very important purpose in it all. That life will certainly get harder, but it will also get better. They remind me that beauty always increases, and that we never stop seeking growth in ourselves--not for anything.
When my mom graduated from Brigham Young University, I was in middle school, and I didn't fully appreciate the enormity of what she had just accomplished. I got a new dress, we took a billion pictures, and we probably celebrated with a delicious meal at some point or another. It was an exciting day, and, despite the fact that I had no idea what she overcame, I was proud of my mom.
I've never been one to draw strength from those that came before me. I guess it was never much comfort knowing that someone else could do something, because their circumstances and situations and entire persons were completely different than mine. But as I stood there, face aimed straight into the shower head, tears of gratitude mixed in with the water pouring down my face. I thought of those moms--I thought of my mom--and I knew that I was strong enough. I knew that there was a purpose. I knew that I not only could overcome, but there was a reason to overcome. That I am working towards something bigger and more beautiful than what I have eyes to see right now.
For the first time in my life, I have found comfort, power, and motivation in the words, "If she can do it, so can I." So thank you, Mom, for living the rainstorm that washed away my doubts. You have shaped me in more ways than you know.
But sometimes they don't.
I turned the shower into a rainstorm. An absolute downpour. I stood with my face in the stream, coming in so fast that I hardly had time to get a breath before my mouth filled with warm, soothing, cleansing water. And as I stood there, barely breathing, I remembered something.
We were sitting in Stats 121 auditorium last semester, waiting among 700 other students for class to start. "I love seeing the moms go back to school," she said, as a woman in her 30s walked down the aisle a few rows down. The truth of that statement resonated within me. I remembered a time before.
Sitting outside the testing center--panicked as I studied for my first test of college. More like crammed. More like stared blankly at the heaping pile of notes I had yet to memorize. Somehow, through the frenzy, I entered a conversation with another freshman girl and a back-to-school mom. She made the both of us swear that we would graduate now, that we wouldn't let anything stop us. "Don't let those boys sweet talk you finishing later," she counseled us, "And do NOT start popping out those babies until you have graduated." Finish now, she told us. Before we have a family to look over, and bigger bills to pay. Before we're asked to commit to more than planning a church activity once a semester. Before life gets even crazier. And, as she spoke, I remembered something else.
I remembered my mom, being that very same. She was once the back-to-school mom. She was the one walking down the aisles of the classroom, waiting for class to begin. She was the one sitting outside the testing center, dreading walking up those two flights of stairs and handing over her student ID card. She may have been counseling young girls like me, I don't know. But what I do know is that with every step that she took on this very campus, she was an example and a source of strength to everyone around her--especially the young girls, just starting out and feeling very overwhelmed. I know because that is what those moms are to me now. They're a symbol of hope, in a way. They remind me that I can do it, that there is a very real and a very important purpose in it all. That life will certainly get harder, but it will also get better. They remind me that beauty always increases, and that we never stop seeking growth in ourselves--not for anything.
When my mom graduated from Brigham Young University, I was in middle school, and I didn't fully appreciate the enormity of what she had just accomplished. I got a new dress, we took a billion pictures, and we probably celebrated with a delicious meal at some point or another. It was an exciting day, and, despite the fact that I had no idea what she overcame, I was proud of my mom.
I've never been one to draw strength from those that came before me. I guess it was never much comfort knowing that someone else could do something, because their circumstances and situations and entire persons were completely different than mine. But as I stood there, face aimed straight into the shower head, tears of gratitude mixed in with the water pouring down my face. I thought of those moms--I thought of my mom--and I knew that I was strong enough. I knew that there was a purpose. I knew that I not only could overcome, but there was a reason to overcome. That I am working towards something bigger and more beautiful than what I have eyes to see right now.
For the first time in my life, I have found comfort, power, and motivation in the words, "If she can do it, so can I." So thank you, Mom, for living the rainstorm that washed away my doubts. You have shaped me in more ways than you know.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Among the Interference Patterns and Entropy
Student: Is there a review PowerPoint online for the final?
Professor: This is it. It's not a very good review though, there's just no way that I could fit all of the review into one PowerPoint. It's best to just go though each unit's review PowerPoint and study that way.
It's always comforting to hear your professor say that there is so much material to cover for the final that he couldn't possibly fit it into one PowerPoint. He's demonstrating to us that he sees our vast potential to retain knowledge and understand the world around us!
It's a good thing that I strangely find the contents of my massive Physical Science book fascinating, otherwise this could be an incredibly stressful remainder of the week.
Professor: This is it. It's not a very good review though, there's just no way that I could fit all of the review into one PowerPoint. It's best to just go though each unit's review PowerPoint and study that way.
It's always comforting to hear your professor say that there is so much material to cover for the final that he couldn't possibly fit it into one PowerPoint. He's demonstrating to us that he sees our vast potential to retain knowledge and understand the world around us!
It's a good thing that I strangely find the contents of my massive Physical Science book fascinating, otherwise this could be an incredibly stressful remainder of the week.
Monday, April 2, 2012
March Quotes
Tori: I plan on surviving until I die.
Iris: Oh, that explains why you thought it was funny. I was naked inside of all of your minds.
Iris: I'm trying so hard! I'm constipated with this thought.
Dad: Benny's a big boy now, right Benny?
Benny: Um, I'm a little man.
Girl: Excuse me, I do NOT know you.
Guy: Whatever. You dream about me every night.
Iris: No internet?! How am I supposed to survive?!
Carla: Twilight sucks. It's like eating a bag of chips--you can't stop, but when you're done you're like, "WHAT did I just do?"
Tori: I'm not gonna walk 13 miles, that would hurt more than running.
Grandma: Absence makes the fart gr...heart...
Iris: You know, I like playing this constitution game. I'm very fond of it.
Iris: that is horrible! My breath smells better!
[Looking at clouds]
Andrea: That looks like a superman symbol!
Kessa: That looks like a uterus!
Iris: [Rapping] I tell you what, girl, you smell like pickles.
Dania: I was looking at your pictures from high school and I thought you were going to be so sweet and nice, but you're a sassy little butt sometimes!
Iris: Oh, that explains why you thought it was funny. I was naked inside of all of your minds.
Iris: I'm trying so hard! I'm constipated with this thought.
Dad: Benny's a big boy now, right Benny?
Benny: Um, I'm a little man.
Girl: Excuse me, I do NOT know you.
Guy: Whatever. You dream about me every night.
Iris: No internet?! How am I supposed to survive?!
Carla: Twilight sucks. It's like eating a bag of chips--you can't stop, but when you're done you're like, "WHAT did I just do?"
Tori: I'm not gonna walk 13 miles, that would hurt more than running.
Grandma: Absence makes the fart gr...heart...
Iris: You know, I like playing this constitution game. I'm very fond of it.
Iris: that is horrible! My breath smells better!
[Looking at clouds]
Andrea: That looks like a superman symbol!
Kessa: That looks like a uterus!
Iris: [Rapping] I tell you what, girl, you smell like pickles.
Dania: I was looking at your pictures from high school and I thought you were going to be so sweet and nice, but you're a sassy little butt sometimes!
Saturday, March 3, 2012
February Quotes
Iris: Peter, you have to admire me.
Dania: You look cute! You lok like such a BYU student!
Iris: Yaaaay! I look white!
Iris: I was so tempted to go to sleep right now. Like, on a bench. But then I was like, "Boys don't like hobos."
Dr. Christensen: Watching television saves lives.
Random Guy: I kept wanting to tap your foot, but then I didn't want the people at the testing center to thin I was sending you a message through morse code.
Shayne: I started talking to my ovary today.
Shayne: Maybe my ovaries are kicking me.
Random Guy: We met like four times before she even knew who I was.
McCall: How could he NOT like you?
Andrea: Yeah, if I like you...wait.
Dr. Christensen: Let's look at all the gory details here. I guess this is kinda PG-13 if you don't like math.
Dania: Hi.
Shayne: Hi. [Double take] Oh, weird, I have never seen you like that ever in my life.
Dania: Like what?
Shayne: Like that--relaxing.
Iris: Kessa, what are the characteristics that you like in boys?
Dania: She doesn't like boys.
Iris: MEN.
McCall: Dania, you are so malicious. I know that every wink is a death wish.
Iris: Veagan is when you don't even eat eggs, right? What do they eat? Poop?
Dania: You look cute! You lok like such a BYU student!
Iris: Yaaaay! I look white!
Iris: I was so tempted to go to sleep right now. Like, on a bench. But then I was like, "Boys don't like hobos."
Dr. Christensen: Watching television saves lives.
Random Guy: I kept wanting to tap your foot, but then I didn't want the people at the testing center to thin I was sending you a message through morse code.
Shayne: I started talking to my ovary today.
Shayne: Maybe my ovaries are kicking me.
Random Guy: We met like four times before she even knew who I was.
McCall: How could he NOT like you?
Andrea: Yeah, if I like you...wait.
Dr. Christensen: Let's look at all the gory details here. I guess this is kinda PG-13 if you don't like math.
Dania: Hi.
Shayne: Hi. [Double take] Oh, weird, I have never seen you like that ever in my life.
Dania: Like what?
Shayne: Like that--relaxing.
Iris: Kessa, what are the characteristics that you like in boys?
Dania: She doesn't like boys.
Iris: MEN.
McCall: Dania, you are so malicious. I know that every wink is a death wish.
Iris: Veagan is when you don't even eat eggs, right? What do they eat? Poop?
Sunday, February 5, 2012
January Quotes
Kristy: He's going to be a surgeon though, so he has really nice hands.
Iris: [Running into the room] It was on purpose! He's a player! He tries to get girls, but he's not a successful one!
Iris: He is a cutie pie. I, I am a chicken pot pie.
Random Church Board in St. George: Forbidden fruit creates many jams.
Brother Nielson: This is my man-wife!
Iris: [Patting my head] I like the shape of your head.
Kevin: I just can't write love songs. I've never been able to do it. I've written infatuation songs!
Kristy: I saw him on campus, and he was eating a sweatshirt...sandwich...
Kristy: No, it smells like a stinky man. Like a good stinky man. Like musk
Kristy: I was at the relationship...I was at the restaurant.
Jess: She was in the paper because she's going to Ghana.
Tori: What's Ghana?
Jess: It's a country.
Tori: Oh, I thought it was a college or something.
Dania: Why does packing exist?
Tori: I don't know, I think the devil invented it.
Random Guy A: She doesn't know it yet, but we're pretty much dating. She's totally into me.
Random Guy B: Oh, by the way, don't be intimidated by the shirt. I'm not the real Spiderman.
Random Girl: Oh, good, cause I was wondering.
Shayne: You were an accident child!
Dania: Nuh-uh! I was a blessing!
Shayne: Yeah, a blessing from the devil!
Brother Hopkin: No! Valiant men stand in battle and slaughter each other face to face!
Kid in Book of Mormon Class: [Reading Alma 48:17] "Behold, the very powers of heck...hell...habit..."
Dylan: [Who is a girl] I have a testimony of Occam's Razor and I know it's true.
Dylan: I think it's because I'm really attracted to men on longboards. But, surprise, men on longboards aren't really attracted to Physics majors.
Dylan: When buoyancy is an essay question, lols are had. [Sounding out "lols"--AKA lolls.]
Iris: [Running into the room] It was on purpose! He's a player! He tries to get girls, but he's not a successful one!
Iris: He is a cutie pie. I, I am a chicken pot pie.
Random Church Board in St. George: Forbidden fruit creates many jams.
Brother Nielson: This is my man-wife!
Iris: [Patting my head] I like the shape of your head.
Kevin: I just can't write love songs. I've never been able to do it. I've written infatuation songs!
Kristy: I saw him on campus, and he was eating a sweatshirt...sandwich...
Kristy: No, it smells like a stinky man. Like a good stinky man. Like musk
Kristy: I was at the relationship...I was at the restaurant.
Jess: She was in the paper because she's going to Ghana.
Tori: What's Ghana?
Jess: It's a country.
Tori: Oh, I thought it was a college or something.
Dania: Why does packing exist?
Tori: I don't know, I think the devil invented it.
Random Guy A: She doesn't know it yet, but we're pretty much dating. She's totally into me.
Random Guy B: Oh, by the way, don't be intimidated by the shirt. I'm not the real Spiderman.
Random Girl: Oh, good, cause I was wondering.
Shayne: You were an accident child!
Dania: Nuh-uh! I was a blessing!
Shayne: Yeah, a blessing from the devil!
Brother Hopkin: No! Valiant men stand in battle and slaughter each other face to face!
Kid in Book of Mormon Class: [Reading Alma 48:17] "Behold, the very powers of heck...hell...habit..."
Dylan: [Who is a girl] I have a testimony of Occam's Razor and I know it's true.
Dylan: I think it's because I'm really attracted to men on longboards. But, surprise, men on longboards aren't really attracted to Physics majors.
Dylan: When buoyancy is an essay question, lols are had. [Sounding out "lols"--AKA lolls.]
Friday, February 3, 2012
Saving Lives
There was a blood drive on campus yesterday. As I rushed back to my apartment for a faster-than-a-sub-2-hour-marathon lunch before I ran off to my internship, I saw the sign announcing an opportunity to save three lives and get a free t-shirt while I was at it.
Words cannot describe the conflict my soul felt in that moment.
"It won't take that long," I argued to myself, "It just barely started--I bet there's not even a line."
"But you haven't even had lunch yet," myself argued back. "Also, you most certainly did not sleep enough last night...or did you? I can't remember. Well, if you can't remember how much you slept, it's only safe to assume that the memory loss can be attributed to sleep deprivation."
"What if I just grab a quick and oh-so-delicious pork barbacoa wrap, eat it on my way, and then save three lives?"
"The lines might have appeared by then. So then you'd have to wait in line, answer all of those dumb but important questions, actually give blood, recover, walk back to your apartment, make yourself dinner to eat in your Book of Mormon class, walk back to your car and drive to your internship. Honey, I guarantee there is not enough time for that today."
Whoops, apparently I got a little sassy with myself there.
In the end, myself won. The self that wanted me to forgo the blood-giving, that is. Despite the fact that I rarely pass up the opportunity to kill three birds with one stone (that may not have been the best phrase to use in conjunction with life-saving), my selfish self did have an incredibly valid and influential set of points.
Regardless, I may not have saved three lives through the giving of my very own [here is where I google a synonym for "blood" and come up with the result "mass murder"--you can fill in this blank as you please] but I was repeatedly told that I am a life-saver for loaning a poor soul a pen for about three seconds.
One life saved, two to go.
In other news, I found a most glorious quote from a most inspired man of God which falls splendidly in line with this whole life-saving business.
"The Savior taught His disciples, 'For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it' (Luke 9:24).
I believe the Savior is telling us that unless we lose ourselves in service to others, there is little purpose to our own lives. Those who live only for themselves eventually shrivel up and figuratively lose their lives, while those who lose themselves in service to others grow and flourish--and in effect save their lives."How grateful I am to have living prophets and apostles to turn to for guidance in this day. What a blessing it is to have their words to add to the words of the prophets of old.
-President Thomas S. Monson, "What Have I Done for Someone Today?"
Well, I best be off to conquer the world, one college assignment at a time. Check back for January quotes--coming soon to a Dani Girl Days blog near you.
Happy Friday!
Sunday, January 22, 2012
December Quotes
Iris: [Singing] I wanna be Old McDonald's clown.
Brooke: I swear, somebody intricately placed popcorn everywhere.
Shayne: What do you think separated? The egg from the nog?
Dr. Crandall: It's pressing against my huge cranium.
Rachel: Don't let the scary clowns ruin your entire clown experience.
Rachel: [Of Harry Potter] I read them like scriptures!
Jasmine: I wish I didn't feel guilty drawing on the Sabbath.
Mommy: Why are our waffles singing? Christmas carols?
Tori: Goodbye, dead one.
Tori: Sheepie! Why are you so fast?! Oh, it's a goat.
Tori: I had a dream I was eating a bagel, and here they are!
Mommy: Dang that guy looks like Satan!
Benny: [With my sweater tied around his neck like a scarf] Dania, look at my pretty new dress!
Dania: Benny, after Santa comes down the chimney, what happens?
Benny: Then he gives me a present, and what's inside?! [Gasp] It's a dog!
Mommy: I thought there was a dead turkey in our driveway, but it was a rock.
Mommy: Is he a runner? Cause he kinda has muscles for a runner...
Mommy: Are you in a wit-match?
Tori: Yes, it's better than a battle of the twits.
...
Tori: That didn't come out exactly as I planned.
Tori: I don't feel like eating.
Dania: I feel like eating biscuits and gravy.
Tori: Yes! I feel like eating again!
Tori: You have luck finding your house when you grow up and get married!
Mommy: What would you like?
Tori: Meat.
Mommy: What kind of meat? Ham?
Tori: No.
Mommy: What kind, then?
Tori: The brown meat, cut in strips.
Mommy: Steak?
Tori: Yeah.
Brooke: I swear, somebody intricately placed popcorn everywhere.
Shayne: What do you think separated? The egg from the nog?
Dr. Crandall: It's pressing against my huge cranium.
Rachel: Don't let the scary clowns ruin your entire clown experience.
Rachel: [Of Harry Potter] I read them like scriptures!
Jasmine: I wish I didn't feel guilty drawing on the Sabbath.
Mommy: Why are our waffles singing? Christmas carols?
Tori: Goodbye, dead one.
Tori: Sheepie! Why are you so fast?! Oh, it's a goat.
Tori: I had a dream I was eating a bagel, and here they are!
Mommy: Dang that guy looks like Satan!
Benny: [With my sweater tied around his neck like a scarf] Dania, look at my pretty new dress!
Dania: Benny, after Santa comes down the chimney, what happens?
Benny: Then he gives me a present, and what's inside?! [Gasp] It's a dog!
Mommy: I thought there was a dead turkey in our driveway, but it was a rock.
Mommy: Is he a runner? Cause he kinda has muscles for a runner...
Mommy: Are you in a wit-match?
Tori: Yes, it's better than a battle of the twits.
...
Tori: That didn't come out exactly as I planned.
Tori: I don't feel like eating.
Dania: I feel like eating biscuits and gravy.
Tori: Yes! I feel like eating again!
Tori: You have luck finding your house when you grow up and get married!
Mommy: What would you like?
Tori: Meat.
Mommy: What kind of meat? Ham?
Tori: No.
Mommy: What kind, then?
Tori: The brown meat, cut in strips.
Mommy: Steak?
Tori: Yeah.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
November Quotes
Never you mind the fact that it's nearly halfway through December. Just enjoy these hilarities during finals week. Deal? Deal.
Kristy: Oh my gosh, my cat. Oh my gosh, how long has he been locked in the bathroom? Well, he was smart. At least he went to the bathroom in the bathtub! But he was so close, he could've used the toilet...
Shayne: I don't want to go to class. I just want to look like a genie by myself all day.
Cristina: You guys, whatever guy I end up with, they are just going to love me so much.
Lindsey: They? There's going to be more than one?
Cristina: Oh yeah! And they're going to love me so much--they're gonna be sad to see me go when I have to move on to the next one.
Cristina: I'm gonna go through these next few weeks and be like, "I love school! I love finals!" I'm pretty sure I love finals more than Christmas! NOT!
Cristina: [Hitting an empty water bottle with a pencil] I'd like to make a toast--to FINALS!
Hunter: So maybe if we washed our dishes, our apartment would be warm.
Shayne: Christian, quit popping the trunk on my dishwasher.
Christian: Kessa, you don't have to tickle me to hold me.
Christan: McCall, your shirt is growing out of your jacket.
Iris: I would shake your hand, but my toes are frozen.
Jacob: If I wrote a book called Scarred for Life, it would be about those three hours.
Jacob: I am a boy. We have our trademarks.
Christian: I'm going to make an ice sculpture out of root beer. And then I'm going to eat it.
Hunter: I could cry.
Dania: What kind of tears?
Hunter: Tears of joy.
Christian: And salt.
Hunter: And candy.
Christian: Salt. Water. Taffy.
Mark: Well, if a guy comes up and starts giving me a massage, it's like, I could think of ten things I'd rather be doing.
Shayne: Being massaged by a girl is one of them.
Mark: Wait, is this a professor, or a real person?
Christian: Once I hit a girl's head with my cheekbone and she thought it was a chair. It was like, "I was flexing my face and broke your head."
Hunter: It was like touching a cloud. Like a cloud with soft fur.
Kessa: You guys hav eno idea! There have been so many cool sunsets in the morning! I mean...
Mom: Yeah, he's probably waving at me too. With his middle finger.
Adam: You know how they have guest stars on Sesame Street?
Kristy: Oh my gosh, my cat. Oh my gosh, how long has he been locked in the bathroom? Well, he was smart. At least he went to the bathroom in the bathtub! But he was so close, he could've used the toilet...
Shayne: I don't want to go to class. I just want to look like a genie by myself all day.
Cristina: You guys, whatever guy I end up with, they are just going to love me so much.
Lindsey: They? There's going to be more than one?
Cristina: Oh yeah! And they're going to love me so much--they're gonna be sad to see me go when I have to move on to the next one.
Cristina: I'm gonna go through these next few weeks and be like, "I love school! I love finals!" I'm pretty sure I love finals more than Christmas! NOT!
Cristina: [Hitting an empty water bottle with a pencil] I'd like to make a toast--to FINALS!
Hunter: So maybe if we washed our dishes, our apartment would be warm.
Shayne: Christian, quit popping the trunk on my dishwasher.
Christian: Kessa, you don't have to tickle me to hold me.
Christan: McCall, your shirt is growing out of your jacket.
Iris: I would shake your hand, but my toes are frozen.
Jacob: If I wrote a book called Scarred for Life, it would be about those three hours.
Jacob: I am a boy. We have our trademarks.
Christian: I'm going to make an ice sculpture out of root beer. And then I'm going to eat it.
Hunter: I could cry.
Dania: What kind of tears?
Hunter: Tears of joy.
Christian: And salt.
Hunter: And candy.
Christian: Salt. Water. Taffy.
Mark: Well, if a guy comes up and starts giving me a massage, it's like, I could think of ten things I'd rather be doing.
Shayne: Being massaged by a girl is one of them.
Mark: Wait, is this a professor, or a real person?
Christian: Once I hit a girl's head with my cheekbone and she thought it was a chair. It was like, "I was flexing my face and broke your head."
Hunter: It was like touching a cloud. Like a cloud with soft fur.
Kessa: You guys hav eno idea! There have been so many cool sunsets in the morning! I mean...
Mom: Yeah, he's probably waving at me too. With his middle finger.
Adam: You know how they have guest stars on Sesame Street?
Sunday, November 6, 2011
October Quotes
Shayne: I don't eat cereal like you, okay? I don't eat a box in a day and a...less.
Hunter: She made me look like a double-fisted donut eater!
Dania: Seth, will you buy me chocolate and some flowers?
Seth: Maybe in your dreams tonight. Let me know how it goes.
Cristina: I had really fun.
Hunter: How bout we just record ourselves and then give you a censored tape?
Rosie: And with a name like...I don't, I don't remember his name. But it was memorable.
Shayne: I can't even talk like a woman.
Hunter: That adorable dog distracted me!
Christian: It's not my fault that girls obsess over me!
Christian: I'm not even leading her on anymore!
Kyle: I like girls, but they scare me.
Jake: If you shake it like this, it rains faster!
Andrew: Yeah, he broke his femur. Like, he's done the male equivalent of childbirth.
Conrad: Caleb Cranney, bring back an Asian.
Caleb: ...You mean to marry?
Caleb: The thing is, she won't ever finish it. You could give her an atom and she'd try to split it.
Kyle: Oh, he's the nicest kid you'll ever meet. I jumped into his arms. Multiple times.
Iris: Do YOU know how monkey butt smells?
Moaks: Why is this guy famous? He sounds pretty STUPID.
Moaks: What is the point of a communist party in the U.S.? They can just...move away.
Shayne: Is that what Anakin was? Jewish? And a boy?
Brooke: Uno more times.
Hunter: She made me look like a double-fisted donut eater!
Dania: Seth, will you buy me chocolate and some flowers?
Seth: Maybe in your dreams tonight. Let me know how it goes.
Cristina: I had really fun.
Hunter: How bout we just record ourselves and then give you a censored tape?
Rosie: And with a name like...I don't, I don't remember his name. But it was memorable.
Shayne: I can't even talk like a woman.
Hunter: That adorable dog distracted me!
Christian: It's not my fault that girls obsess over me!
Christian: I'm not even leading her on anymore!
Kyle: I like girls, but they scare me.
Jake: If you shake it like this, it rains faster!
Andrew: Yeah, he broke his femur. Like, he's done the male equivalent of childbirth.
Conrad: Caleb Cranney, bring back an Asian.
Caleb: ...You mean to marry?
Caleb: The thing is, she won't ever finish it. You could give her an atom and she'd try to split it.
Kyle: Oh, he's the nicest kid you'll ever meet. I jumped into his arms. Multiple times.
Iris: Do YOU know how monkey butt smells?
Moaks: Why is this guy famous? He sounds pretty STUPID.
Moaks: What is the point of a communist party in the U.S.? They can just...move away.
Shayne: Is that what Anakin was? Jewish? And a boy?
Brooke: Uno more times.
Monday, October 3, 2011
September Quotes
Shayne: It's like a retirement home, except, we're all kids and not old.
Random girl: I mean, granted, it's only the first week of school, but I actually put make up on every morning. I'm pretty proud.
Bronwen: I think he's attractive. I mean, his face makes me want to cry.
Iris: I don't hate boys. I heart boys.
Shayne: We'll make waffle songs till the sun rises.
Hunter: I just think I should warn you in advance that this pinky is a chronological liar.
Christian: Hunter, I'm not holding your hand. You can't make me.
Hunter: That wasn't a snort. That was a half-snort.
McCall: I don't know where you live in the dark.
Christian: It's Hunter's favorite man-flick.
Shayne: Come feed me a meatball in my sleep.
Shayne: No, he is my husband! I need to communicate with him!
Shayne: At least I have a positive influence on myself.
Davis: Do you know where gamblers go? [Pause] To Las Vegas. And they lose all their money.
Hunter: Come on, Rapunzel, if you can dance, you can do karate.
Hunter: Next question--her eyes the size of apples!
Shayne: That's not a question.
Hunter: ...Why?!
Hunter: 8th question--have you guys ever seen a bathroom in that tower? There's not even a bathroom in that tower.
Hunter: She's 18, he's at least 60.
Hunter: 10th question--where did all those candles go that she made in the beginning.
McCall: Italian club doesn't teach you Welsh.
Tyler: I need vegetables. I haven't had a vegetable in, like, three days.
Christian: I can't help what my body does.
Hunter: The natural man...
Christian: That's right, I have an entire scripture dedicated to me.
Hunter: ...is an enemy to God.
Shayne: I don't really want to know how many guys a boy has kissed. I mean..oh wait...I don't want to know that either.
Christian: I try to be patriotic by wearing clothes from other countries with the same colors.
Dania: This is exactly why I never get homework done. You look like Hunter.
Sam: He eats dinner with me twice a night.
Christian: I wish that the hair on my head would grow on my chest.
Shayne: I'm excited to see him! He's my friend, and I like him!
Shayne: Apples? Apples don't grow on...do they?
Hunter: I'm cake-eating shy.
Christian: I want her to be my boyfriend.
Dania: Well, that was really awkward.
Brooke: Just pop the trunk and no one will notice.
Brooke: Everything's better when you pop the trunk.
Iris: It sounds like a mischievous plan to get a wife.
Shayne: They do that strategically. So we can snuggle with boys. And get married. And make babies.
Brooke: I walk like a man.
Dania: I eat like a man.
Iris: I like men.
Dr. Hinckley: General conference does not count. That sounded really bad. General conference counts for a lot in this life, but it does not count for a concert.
Dr. Hinckley: The Devil's interval, just so you know--[plays it]--that's pure evil. Don't, don't ever play that.
Dr. Hinckley: I wonder if this developed because some of the priests couldn't sing. "Let's just stick with this same note."
Dr. Hinckley: I'm gonna play a little bit more of this Robin Hood naughty song.
Dania: Every time he does one of those smiley faces with an "X" I think he's telling me to die.
Shayne: No, that's just common sense. If you're cold, blow dry your body.
Shayne: This is super dumb.
Iris: You're super...smart.
Dr. Hinckley: If I were to sing this to you--which I will, because I have no shame--it would sound something like this.
Dr. Hinckley: This is a recording of the last castrato.
Brother Stohlton: If you have to cheat on a religion test, somewhere along the line you've missed something.
Brother Stohlton: There is no way on God's green earth that the colonists should have been able to overthrow Great Britain.
Dr. Crandall: Are you attached or unattached?
Kid in class: Unattached.
Dr. Crandall: And happily so?
Kid: [Pause, shrugs shoulders] Eh, it's okay.
Dr. Crandall: How many of you are barbarians? [Silence] I like barbarians.
Dr. Crandall: How many of you males in here will hold a door open for a female or for any man older than you? [Silence] There are a few left who have [pause] manners.
Dr. Crandall: Someone in the Honor Code office in the X-building looks out and sees all these girls wearing blue jeans and thinks, "I guess they're not going to Hell after all. Maybe we should just allow it."
Emily: Okay, who wants to explain this paradigm? [Prounounced: pair-uh-dig-um]
T.A.: Can the head say, "I have no need of a place to sit"? No. They need the bum.
Random girl: I mean, granted, it's only the first week of school, but I actually put make up on every morning. I'm pretty proud.
Bronwen: I think he's attractive. I mean, his face makes me want to cry.
Iris: I don't hate boys. I heart boys.
Shayne: We'll make waffle songs till the sun rises.
Hunter: I just think I should warn you in advance that this pinky is a chronological liar.
Christian: Hunter, I'm not holding your hand. You can't make me.
Hunter: That wasn't a snort. That was a half-snort.
McCall: I don't know where you live in the dark.
Christian: It's Hunter's favorite man-flick.
Shayne: Come feed me a meatball in my sleep.
Shayne: No, he is my husband! I need to communicate with him!
Shayne: At least I have a positive influence on myself.
Davis: Do you know where gamblers go? [Pause] To Las Vegas. And they lose all their money.
Hunter: Come on, Rapunzel, if you can dance, you can do karate.
Hunter: Next question--her eyes the size of apples!
Shayne: That's not a question.
Hunter: ...Why?!
Hunter: 8th question--have you guys ever seen a bathroom in that tower? There's not even a bathroom in that tower.
Hunter: She's 18, he's at least 60.
Hunter: 10th question--where did all those candles go that she made in the beginning.
McCall: Italian club doesn't teach you Welsh.
Tyler: I need vegetables. I haven't had a vegetable in, like, three days.
Christian: I can't help what my body does.
Hunter: The natural man...
Christian: That's right, I have an entire scripture dedicated to me.
Hunter: ...is an enemy to God.
Shayne: I don't really want to know how many guys a boy has kissed. I mean..oh wait...I don't want to know that either.
Christian: I try to be patriotic by wearing clothes from other countries with the same colors.
Dania: This is exactly why I never get homework done. You look like Hunter.
Sam: He eats dinner with me twice a night.
Christian: I wish that the hair on my head would grow on my chest.
Shayne: I'm excited to see him! He's my friend, and I like him!
Shayne: Apples? Apples don't grow on...do they?
Hunter: I'm cake-eating shy.
Christian: I want her to be my boyfriend.
Dania: Well, that was really awkward.
Brooke: Just pop the trunk and no one will notice.
Brooke: Everything's better when you pop the trunk.
Iris: It sounds like a mischievous plan to get a wife.
Shayne: They do that strategically. So we can snuggle with boys. And get married. And make babies.
Brooke: I walk like a man.
Dania: I eat like a man.
Iris: I like men.
Dr. Hinckley: General conference does not count. That sounded really bad. General conference counts for a lot in this life, but it does not count for a concert.
Dr. Hinckley: The Devil's interval, just so you know--[plays it]--that's pure evil. Don't, don't ever play that.
Dr. Hinckley: I wonder if this developed because some of the priests couldn't sing. "Let's just stick with this same note."
Dr. Hinckley: I'm gonna play a little bit more of this Robin Hood naughty song.
Dania: Every time he does one of those smiley faces with an "X" I think he's telling me to die.
Shayne: No, that's just common sense. If you're cold, blow dry your body.
Shayne: This is super dumb.
Iris: You're super...smart.
Dr. Hinckley: If I were to sing this to you--which I will, because I have no shame--it would sound something like this.
Dr. Hinckley: This is a recording of the last castrato.
Brother Stohlton: If you have to cheat on a religion test, somewhere along the line you've missed something.
Brother Stohlton: There is no way on God's green earth that the colonists should have been able to overthrow Great Britain.
Dr. Crandall: Are you attached or unattached?
Kid in class: Unattached.
Dr. Crandall: And happily so?
Kid: [Pause, shrugs shoulders] Eh, it's okay.
Dr. Crandall: How many of you are barbarians? [Silence] I like barbarians.
Dr. Crandall: How many of you males in here will hold a door open for a female or for any man older than you? [Silence] There are a few left who have [pause] manners.
Dr. Crandall: Someone in the Honor Code office in the X-building looks out and sees all these girls wearing blue jeans and thinks, "I guess they're not going to Hell after all. Maybe we should just allow it."
Emily: Okay, who wants to explain this paradigm? [Prounounced: pair-uh-dig-um]
T.A.: Can the head say, "I have no need of a place to sit"? No. They need the bum.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
August Quotes
Tami: (About Abuduction, with Taylor Lautner.) Do you realize how many girls are gonna watch this?!
Tami: Oh my gosh, I think he has more muscles in this one!
Tami: Oh my gosh! Is this it? It is! (About Breaking Dawn preview.)
Caleb: I'm nice...to myself...
Caleb: The world doesn't need kind people!
Caleb: You were ready for 16 at age 5!
Dania: I look like a man.
Caleb: No you don't. (In a deep voice) I look like a man.
Caleb: But it's so much fun to not walk around with a soggy diaper!
Tori: Less talk, more snore.
Tori: It is so hot! Why in the world did God create so much heat?!
Dania: Where are your eyes?
Caleb: Oh, that is a good calf muscle picture. It's like I have abs on my legs!
Dania: It's not my fault he's funny.
Caleb: Hi Benny, do you want to gaze longingly into my eyes?
Tori: With great power comes a great need to take a nap.
Caleb: It takes a true woman to laugh at her own jokes with such intensity.
Caleb: Oh yes, like mother, like daughter. Twice.
Kirsti: Get a man.
Andrea: We should all take a boxing class together.
Becca: I would like that, actually. I have a lot of rage.
Andrea: There is nothing in this world like a sugar cookie cookie dough.
Dad: No, we don't need those. The rain dancers need to be shot.
Benny: I bought this for you. It's mine.
Benny: Did you burp, Dania? Did you burp? You did--you did it by youself. Happy burpday, Dania.
Shayne: I'm the only Shayne-boy I kn...I'm a girl.
Shayne: I don't know why I'm not hungry. I think I just ate--oh, I just brushed my teeth.
Amber: And I actually have closed my heart, which is BAD!
Tami: Oh my gosh, I think he has more muscles in this one!
Tami: Oh my gosh! Is this it? It is! (About Breaking Dawn preview.)
Caleb: I'm nice...to myself...
Caleb: The world doesn't need kind people!
Caleb: You were ready for 16 at age 5!
Dania: I look like a man.
Caleb: No you don't. (In a deep voice) I look like a man.
Caleb: But it's so much fun to not walk around with a soggy diaper!
Tori: Less talk, more snore.
Tori: It is so hot! Why in the world did God create so much heat?!
Dania: Where are your eyes?
Caleb: Oh, that is a good calf muscle picture. It's like I have abs on my legs!
Dania: It's not my fault he's funny.
Caleb: Hi Benny, do you want to gaze longingly into my eyes?
Tori: With great power comes a great need to take a nap.
Caleb: It takes a true woman to laugh at her own jokes with such intensity.
Caleb: Oh yes, like mother, like daughter. Twice.
Kirsti: Get a man.
Andrea: We should all take a boxing class together.
Becca: I would like that, actually. I have a lot of rage.
Andrea: There is nothing in this world like a sugar cookie cookie dough.
Dad: No, we don't need those. The rain dancers need to be shot.
Benny: I bought this for you. It's mine.
Benny: Did you burp, Dania? Did you burp? You did--you did it by youself. Happy burpday, Dania.
Shayne: I'm the only Shayne-boy I kn...I'm a girl.
Shayne: I don't know why I'm not hungry. I think I just ate--oh, I just brushed my teeth.
Amber: And I actually have closed my heart, which is BAD!
Monday, August 1, 2011
July Quotes
The following quote is a lost sheep. It actually belongs in the June quotes.
Steph: Boys have cooties.
Dania: But they also have lips.
Camden: Okay, who wants to frolic with sparklers in the streets?
Camden: You play like a one-legged, 90-year-old woman.
Camden: This is incomplete! The pharaohs would be angry.
Anonymous: I like my butt. Don't put that in the quote book!
Steph: Excuse me? That's like telling a mother to back off from her baby.
Steph: Well, they can't be big cooties, that'd be weird. It's like a monkey on his back.
Kristy: I don't know why he would think I'm mad at him. The only thing I've done is avoid him.
Caleb: That FHE is designed to make other FHE's.
Andrea: People can stalk you with those shoes!
Adi: You're 18, you're supposed to love a boy!
Adi: Okay, and one more thing. When you're 18, you love boys. When Eli's 18, he'll love girls. When I'm 18, I'll eat pie.
Adi: You're 18, you're supposed to have kissed a boy!
Eli: Hey, Dania. Boy plus girl equals kiss.
Jeremy: This isn't a secret combination! We're...we're flirting!
Jeremy: This is by no way romantic!
Bronwen: I'm not wearing a shirt, I'm going full on Daisy Duke.
Caleb: Technically, I've been emotionless since I met you.
Caleb: Hey guys, look. Shadows Nursery. Why would you name a nursery that?
Emma: You know it's for plants, right?
Caleb: Oooooooooooooooooh.
Caleb: I'm the stamp queen and I love it.
Catherine: It was so fun because you could sin and it wasn't...
Dania: So you could sin without consequences?
Catherine: Ya--no!
Dania: At this rate you'll beat Camden.
Catherine: To Hell?
Xan: Oh Catherine, you are a delight.
Catherine: Well, Caleb is a...non-delight.
Brother Cranney: And he wanted to leave at 4. If I didn't love him I'd be mad at him.
Sister Cranney: I don't think God intended fruit to be a dessert. Fruit is a food group, chocolate is a dessert.
Caleb: It's fun to be stupid!
Caleb: I hate missing something vitally insulting.
Caleb: I don't like Freudian dweebs.
Steph: Who says friends can't kiss each other?
Saturday, July 2, 2011
June Quotes
Due to the fact that this post is in such high demand, I have made the executive decision to construct it first. But, you must swear to at least skim over the posts to follow as well. It would also be preferable if you headed over to this lovely place and discovered today's addition.
Just kidding, I guess you don't really have to. I mean, some of you do little more in my neck of the blogosphere than [ctrl+F+your name] once a month. If that is what brings you true joy in life, then it brings me true joy as well. Because true joy--that's important.
Dania: I really wanted to sleep in today.
Mom: You did.
Dania: I really wanted to sleep in for forever.
Mom: That's called dying.
Tori: Bugs are going to have their own heaven.
Cameron: It's hard work being this lazy, I'll have you know.
Cameron: My right ear could run a marathon! It doesn't get tired!
Mom: She might do your nails, but she's not gonna love you.
Steph: Well, talking about them isn't going to make them appear and kiss our lips.
Steph: That's it, I'm losing my VL tonight.
Dania: With who?
Steph: I don't know, who's awake?
*Note: VL is short for virgin lips.
Steph: VL club is also synonymous with FAT club.
Seth: Well, we can't all be Helga, so that's not fair.
Kristy: Why am I not in here? I'm funny and charming.
Grandma: Watch out Dania, Caleb's gonna see me with a pink ribbon.
(Just after finishing the Utah Valley Marathon.)
Mom: I need a walker.
Dania: I need a coffin.
Matthew: And never chew while you're eating.
Matthew: (In reference to donuts) There are extenuating circumstances.
Steph: If you think about it, a pearl to a clam is kinda like a tongue ring in a person.
Matthew: It's more like a kidney stone.
Tori: You can pretend you're dead every night, Dania.
Kristy: Here is what I realized, is, FATE...
Benny: Woah, careful Eli.
Eli: It's okay, I'm talented.
Steph: Wait, why is he holding up money?
Catie: Um, he's trying to bribe me to go on a date with him. That's a lie.
Kristy: I had a dream about this dream guy. And I wish he was real--he was amazing.
Kristy: I was walking down campus and I saw these really cute guys, and I was like, "Oh my gosh, I'm so glad I'm single."
Kristy: I was gonna come back to it, it's not like I was abandoning it.
Dania: You're talking about a banana.
Kristy: What? We are on the wrong page--I am in love with dream guy! I didn't even get his name...
Seth: Yes, South Provo, we have phone books instead of technology.
Tati: Have fun in your new life.
Tori: Have fun in your same life.
Dania: Why is he running like a penguin?
Tori: He's a football player.
Just kidding, I guess you don't really have to. I mean, some of you do little more in my neck of the blogosphere than [ctrl+F+your name] once a month. If that is what brings you true joy in life, then it brings me true joy as well. Because true joy--that's important.
Dania: I really wanted to sleep in today.
Mom: You did.
Dania: I really wanted to sleep in for forever.
Mom: That's called dying.
Tori: Bugs are going to have their own heaven.
Cameron: It's hard work being this lazy, I'll have you know.
Cameron: My right ear could run a marathon! It doesn't get tired!
Mom: She might do your nails, but she's not gonna love you.
Steph: Well, talking about them isn't going to make them appear and kiss our lips.
Steph: That's it, I'm losing my VL tonight.
Dania: With who?
Steph: I don't know, who's awake?
*Note: VL is short for virgin lips.
Steph: VL club is also synonymous with FAT club.
Seth: Well, we can't all be Helga, so that's not fair.
Kristy: Why am I not in here? I'm funny and charming.
Grandma: Watch out Dania, Caleb's gonna see me with a pink ribbon.
(Just after finishing the Utah Valley Marathon.)
Mom: I need a walker.
Dania: I need a coffin.
Matthew: And never chew while you're eating.
Matthew: (In reference to donuts) There are extenuating circumstances.
Steph: If you think about it, a pearl to a clam is kinda like a tongue ring in a person.
Matthew: It's more like a kidney stone.
Tori: You can pretend you're dead every night, Dania.
Kristy: Here is what I realized, is, FATE...
Benny: Woah, careful Eli.
Eli: It's okay, I'm talented.
Steph: Wait, why is he holding up money?
Catie: Um, he's trying to bribe me to go on a date with him. That's a lie.
Kristy: I had a dream about this dream guy. And I wish he was real--he was amazing.
Kristy: I was walking down campus and I saw these really cute guys, and I was like, "Oh my gosh, I'm so glad I'm single."
Kristy: I was gonna come back to it, it's not like I was abandoning it.
Dania: You're talking about a banana.
Kristy: What? We are on the wrong page--I am in love with dream guy! I didn't even get his name...
Seth: Yes, South Provo, we have phone books instead of technology.
Tati: Have fun in your new life.
Tori: Have fun in your same life.
Dania: Why is he running like a penguin?
Tori: He's a football player.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Work and Stuff
The other day, I went to work. Actually, I've gone to work many a day recently. But the other day is the day that I wish to speak about. Continuing on--the other day, I went to work. On this particular day (Monday) the office was technically closed, but I was putting in hours and getting various things done with a wonderful woman named Tiff. We had been there for some time before it became lunch time, at which point she left to eat, and I was left alone.
This was not distressing in any way. In fact, it was rather beneficial to me, for it left me free to sing along to the radio in any fashion I pleased. I kicked off my shoes and began to enjoy my life immensely. As time went on, I became increasingly secure in my aloneness and soon reached the point of a barefoot, singing, dancing, filing-papers-away party with myself. As if that weren't enough, this song came on and I was just in heaven. Singing at a decent decible, I turned around to tear some more perforations only to find a man standing at the front desk. Fully clad in purple, I soon recognized him as the FedEx guy. Stunned into silence for a moment, I eventually recovered enough to carry on the following conversation.
FedEx Guy: Hi.
Me: Hi.
FedEx Guy: (Offering the machine thing for me to sign.) You the only one here today?
Me: Yeah. For now, at least.
FedEx Guy: You're the one that got stuck, huh?
Me: (Awkward chuckle of acknowledgement.)
FedEx Guy: Well, at least you have air conditioning.
Me: (With a smile) Yep.
FedEx Guy: (Takes his sign-machine thing back) Well, see ya.
Me: Yep. Have a good day!
Exit FedEx Guy.
After taking a moment to fully absorb the awkwardness of the situation, I resumed my barefoot, singing, dancing, filing-papers-away party with myself. Thankfully, by some stroke of luck--or perhaps divine intervention--I was maintaining a perfectly professional appearance when the man in brown from UPS arrived. Also thankfully, Selena Gomez didn't come on until immediately after UPS man left.
On another note, I saw a car jammed full of little old ladies on my way to work today. Short, curly, white hair and all.
This was not distressing in any way. In fact, it was rather beneficial to me, for it left me free to sing along to the radio in any fashion I pleased. I kicked off my shoes and began to enjoy my life immensely. As time went on, I became increasingly secure in my aloneness and soon reached the point of a barefoot, singing, dancing, filing-papers-away party with myself. As if that weren't enough, this song came on and I was just in heaven. Singing at a decent decible, I turned around to tear some more perforations only to find a man standing at the front desk. Fully clad in purple, I soon recognized him as the FedEx guy. Stunned into silence for a moment, I eventually recovered enough to carry on the following conversation.
FedEx Guy: Hi.
Me: Hi.
FedEx Guy: (Offering the machine thing for me to sign.) You the only one here today?
Me: Yeah. For now, at least.
FedEx Guy: You're the one that got stuck, huh?
Me: (Awkward chuckle of acknowledgement.)
FedEx Guy: Well, at least you have air conditioning.
Me: (With a smile) Yep.
FedEx Guy: (Takes his sign-machine thing back) Well, see ya.
Me: Yep. Have a good day!
Exit FedEx Guy.
After taking a moment to fully absorb the awkwardness of the situation, I resumed my barefoot, singing, dancing, filing-papers-away party with myself. Thankfully, by some stroke of luck--or perhaps divine intervention--I was maintaining a perfectly professional appearance when the man in brown from UPS arrived. Also thankfully, Selena Gomez didn't come on until immediately after UPS man left.
On another note, I saw a car jammed full of little old ladies on my way to work today. Short, curly, white hair and all.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Plus One
I failed to include the following quote in my May Quotes post.
Christian: Gettin' some Jamba?
Dania: Nooooooooo...
Am I missing any others?
Christian: Gettin' some Jamba?
Dania: Nooooooooo...
Am I missing any others?
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