Shayne: [singing] Happy birthday, full of tears and sadness!
Andrea: [gasp] We're gonna go in a car?!?!
Random Guy: Well, at least you're confusing. I mean, he hasn't figured you out yet.
Dania: Cadbury eggs do not count as an impulse buy!
Iris: Can I get my bean soup?
Shayne: No, you cannot get your bean soup. You have to listen.
Dania: At this point, I just can't even tell time apart anymore. Like, days and months feel the same to me.
Christian: Pretty sure days and months aren't the same. Maybe like, weeks and weeks.
Iris: [to Christian] If you had hair, that would've been really funny.
Iris: [speaking as if she were Hunter] I can't see you with my earphones on!
Iris: That's not a drink, that's diabetes.
Hunter: Shayne. You can't just put yourself in the fridge. You won't fit.
Alan: She does have cooties! That doesn't mean I can't be in love with her...
Andrea: I know this is random...but can you guys see the people in my knees?
Shayne: No, but I was dancing around in the handicapped stall!
Shayne: Let the sinner be the first to cast the stone...wait...
McCall: I'm a sinner!
Shayne: I need to pray. Profusely.
Dania: Like sweating. But with prayers.
McCall: I had another cat, Holly, but we put her to death.
McCall: We also used to have these guinea pigs--
Dania: Did you put them to death too?
McCall: No! They stayed alive.
Shayne: I don't need friends, I got a salad!
Shayne: You should have honked your tail lights or something!
Shayne: He's dated everyone in our apartment, except Iris.
Iris: That's because I'm Mexican.
Andrea: I feel weird drinking out of a bowl.
Iris: Dania, you need to get married. All this cuddly needs to be unleashed.
Iris: I feel like he's coming back too soon. I mean, I haven't gotten any skinnier.
Iris: You're so obsessed with mail, and you don't even have an address.
Dania: I like being homeless.
Iris: Yeah, I've never eaten this good!
Dania: [while trying to frown] My lips are quivering!
Dania: [to Iris] We are so funny. If you were a boy and we got married, we would be everybody's favorite couple.
Bronwen: I haven't seen a sunburn like that since the last time I saw you sunburned!
Seth: I don't put anything in my journal. NOt even writing.
Catie: Your teeth are absurdly close to my cheek.
[At the same time]
Dania: Put a shirt on!
Iris: Beautiful men!
Iris: It's okay, I forgave you a long time ago. And yet, I still hold a grudge.
Kessa: I am graceful when I'm not a klutz, thank you.
Nicole: Roommates are couples too.
Dr. Platt: If you find yourself enjoying this and you want to take more classes about it, chances are, you might have a particular kind of brain damage that would make you want to be an economist.
Dr. Platt: If you find yourself excited, keep going! You may find wonderland.
Dr. Platt: I dropped the negative sign. Economists have an annoying habit of doing this. I apologize for our whole profession.
Steph: You need butter in your diet! And your chex mix...
Andrew: What's the worst that could happen? You fall on your face.
Dr. Platt: But whether you use the chicken for the eggs or for the meat makes a big difference. Especially to the chicken.
Andrea: My hair gets stuck in my eyelashes until I can't see. And then I'm just blinking hairballs.
Andrea: Sometimes I wish I was a vegetable addict, but then I don't.
Shayne: CATCH MY FREAKING DRIFT, BROTHER!
Iris: I just wanna cryyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Or maybe, sing a song.
Kessa: I don't understand why boys don't just drop and worship her. Oh, well, okay...maybe that's sacrilegious. But still!
Iris: [through a full mouth] If I'm not eating, I'm not happy. That's the end of story.
Iris: I like your hair like that. Keep it. Don't ever wash it.
McCall: Every time I think of the word "flesh," I think of a cheese grater grating skin.
Iris: You guys. I want to eat ALL THE TIME. Tell me what I must do to not eat.