May 2013 Quotes

Lacey: Which, you know, is gonna break her old heart, and she's gonna...die! I wouldn't put it past her--she would die just to guilt trip me.

Lacey: Aoooaahhh! I just smacked myself in the nose!

Taylor: [While looking for a place in the park where we can't smell dog poop] The flowers will override--like perfume on a sweaty woman.

Dani: Lacey, remember when we were crazy?
Lacey: Yeah...remember when we were single?

Lacey: I can feel the sun trying to give me cancer.
Dani: That's just the sun trying to give you love. Sometimes it just grows uncontrollably.

Soo: Why are you telling me to be a good wife? Give me a husband first!

Lacey: So I discovered something about Orajel. It tastes like fire, but it feels like ice.

Taylor: I feel like Harry Potter. My scar hurts.

Tori: Brandon has really good English, but sometimes he gets his murds wixed up.

Lacey: I'm gonna go now because my roommate and fiancee are being children.

Anna: Oh, Anastasia! I was thinking of Fantasia all this time.

Anna: He's very muscular. I dated him for two months. I don't know anything else about him.

Anna: My grandma ended up dying that Friday morning. My bad.

Lacey: [Heard from around the corner at night] Daaaaannnnniiiiiiii, get off Facebook.

Brother Bradford: Does anyone know the first thing Adam and Eve had to deal with in the garden?
Ethan: Was it who wore the plants in the family?

Lacey: I'm gonna have such bad heartburn. [Takes another bite of chili cheese fries.]

Lacey: I feel like she's the kind of person where we'd be like, "Hey, let's be friends." If she weren't my doctor.

Tyler: I hate cereal. It's the meal choice of Satan.
Zach: Well, he has good taste.

Brother Bradford: And then you're popping out the babies every six months, that can be stressful. [Interjection by everyone in the room about the faulty timeframe.] What? Oh. That's not the way it works? Well, I don't know everything about marriage.

President Ogles: I'm sorry I came in late, we had a teenage crisis at my home. It's amazing that anyone makes it through those years without being killed. By their parents.

April 2013 Quotes

Lacey: Cause I know her well enough to know that she will not be okay with having a celibate husband.

Taylor: I was not trying to seduce you with my eyebrow!

Random Girl: Well, I don't have the best memory, but thank goodness for social media.

Random Guy: Dude. I just shaved a chicken and moved a table.

Taylor: It's like I'm five again, and I'm trying to figure out which books to get from the library! Except, this is a 2-year graduate degree.

Tori: I want my Oreos, but they're across the room.

Dania: Tori, you're amazing.
Tori: It's only because I read.

Lacey: You know what would be a fun date? Rubbing Lacey's feet.

Tori: I just wanna live in a mansion and have babies. And eat pop tarts.

Taylor: I wish you could have felt my hamstrings when they were a rock!

Lacey: Ow! Ow! I just flicked myself in the eye!

Taylor: I like having a buddy. It's you, Jesus, and percocet all hangin out.

Dania: Why does everyone have orange juice?
Lacey: Because I bought it. With my money. That's a lie, I bought it with a credit card.

March 2013 Quotes

Guy 1: I don't like bagels.

Guy 2: Do you hate babies and sunshine, too?

Girl: So today I made dinner. I made the usual portion that my mom makes for our family of six--I ate. All of it.

Lacey: Okay, this may sound really stupid, but let's think about Winnie the Pooh for a second. How stupid must he and Christopher Robin have been to be like, "Tut tut, looks like rain, oh that'll fool the bees!"

Zach: I'm not distracting her! That's like telling the sun not to shine.

Taylor: And then you freak out cause your alarm won't change to PM, and then you're like, "Oh wait, I'm a soldier."

Taylor: If I don't want you to talk to someone, I'll kill them.

Lacey: You're really good at...speaking words. And I mean that from the bottom of my soul.

Lacey: Oh my gosh, Dani, I have to add another friend. You know why? I have 666 friends, and Shari's face is creepily poking out the bottom.

Guy: In the construction industry, you usually have a fatal death per week. One or more.

Lacey: Okay. Thank you for sharing your life plan with me. I am not going to be a part of it.

Brad: I'm so happy. I just sent some beef jerky down to my friend in Nicaragua.

Taylor: Do I look as attractive as I think I do?

Taylor: I hope we didn't just hit a pedestrian. I don't think we did, cause I didn't hear a thump.

Taylor: My hands are all dry and crackley, like a pickle.

Taylor: Good thing those cars aren't called "peeps," cause then it would be a poop.

Lacey: I feel like ginger isn't a nationality.

Taylor: Look! That one's dying! Either that, or it's in labor. [Later] Look! That one's having labor too!

Taylor: They're doing handstands. Or, upside down handstands. That's called standing.

Lacey: Second winter is my least favorite of the winters. Unless there's a third winter coming up, in which case, I definitely don't like third winter.

Lacey: What did I just find in my belly button? Look at that, it's like a little stick. How did I get that in my belly button?

Michael: I think you're going to Africa.

Dania: Africa is a continent, not a mission.

Michael: Nuh uh! I can't narrow it down! All the black people need you, Dania.

Michael: I can breathe! I have one and a half nostrils.

Michael: Something about being a single guy makes you really hungry.

Lacey: Trying to fill the hole in your soul that need to be filled by a woman?

Taylor: You need to learn how to be rude.

Brad: It's like a drunk, but without the alcohol content.

Taylor: I bet if you were there, I wouldn't like picnics.

Taylor: I'm not like you. I don't take advantage of my significant other's car.

February 2013 Quotes

Taylor: What's funny, is I made the joke, and you're the only one laughing at it.

Rachel: I cried my lipstick off!

Lacey: Where's my deodorant?
Dania: I ate it!
Lacey: Dani, that is so unhealthy! There is NO nutritional value!

Taylor: My back just made a funny pain.

Random Girl: And then she tired to beat me upside the head with a pillow. And then she put her FEET on me! It was horrible.

And apparently those are the only funny things that happened all month. Lies. Lots of funny things happened in February, but they were all documented in places that I no longer have access to. Like text messages that have since become inaccessible.

Because I have deprived you of your monthly escape from reality in the form of quotes, I've decided to include something funny provided by the wonderful world of the internet.

My professor found this video and showed it to us all. I hope you like ponies.

Grounded

The ground is severely underrated.

I love the ground. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's just my inner child demanding to be expressed (again), but I just love it down here. I feel safe on the ground. And happy. And real.

Sometimes I remember that I'm a real person who lives and breathes--and I'm surprised! So often,  I think about what I have to do, and where I have to be, and who I'm going to be with. I think about the check lists and the deadlines. The plans and the priorities. I run around and I do all these crazy things, and I love the life that I lead. But in the process, I sometimes forget that I am a person. I forget who I am.

Some places, some situations, ground me. (Ha! Ground. Get it?) Not because the situation itself is particularly inspiring, but because it just puts me in a mindset where I can think about my purpose. They're just times where I can stop. The continual whirr in my mind slows itself down, and I remember a little more. And the ground is one of those places.

So, here I sit. I'm on the floor, and I'm wearing my crazy rain boots and my flannel, rainbow plaid, lumberjack shirt. You know what? I like being a kid.

January 2013 Quotes

Janae: I wish these were babier carrots.

Brad: I feel like gouging your eye out with your iPhone isn't the best use of the technology. You don't want to make it an actual eye-phone.

Michael: Why is your door locked?!

Dani: I am freezing and miserable.
Lacey: At least you're not in (chuckle) the French Revolution.

Ethan: I'm an extrovert. I can't just go to bed whenever I want!

Zach: I can't grow a beard...I wish I could just sneeze and have one for a day.

Lacey: He needs a haircut. His head is starting to look like a mushroom.

Girl: Those golden Oreos? My favorite. They make me feel feminine.

Lacey: I feel like this is the way our mornings go--we kind of just follow each other around and I watch you eat.

Lacey: Do you want these last two biscuits? Or should we feed them to children as we pass them in the street?

Lacey: What, are they playing Jumanji up there?!

Taylor: My married friend's fiancée. I mean...what are they called when they're married? Wife.

Taylor: I should have packed more than a bunch of white flower and chemicals.

Joe: [watching Tangled] Dude. You're setting the bar too high. I can't beat that!

Wes: It's such a manly movie, you'll cry at the end. I didn't cry, but I thought about it.

Dark Blue

Some songs demand my attention. I hear the first few notes and immediately drop whatever I'm doing. I associate it with memories and emotion, and I want to completely soak them in.

Dark Blue is one of those.

I never particularly cared for this song until my roommate, Cali, made a most marvelous comment:

"I hope my husband is like this song. I know it inside and out, every little detail of it. But it never gets old. I still get so excited every time I hear it."

And, suddenly, I can't get enough of it. All I want to do is listen to it over and over. I look it up and I put it on repeat. I should probably just buy the thing, but that is a concern for another day.

The point is that I hear this song and, in my mind, I hear those words. And for some reason those words bring me such peace and hope. Hope that someday I can find a this song to my life.