Shayne: It's like a retirement home, except, we're all kids and not old.
Random girl: I mean, granted, it's only the first week of school, but I actually put make up on every morning. I'm pretty proud.
Bronwen: I think he's attractive. I mean, his face makes me want to cry.
Iris: I don't hate boys. I heart boys.
Shayne: We'll make waffle songs till the sun rises.
Hunter: I just think I should warn you in advance that this pinky is a chronological liar.
Christian: Hunter, I'm not holding your hand. You can't make me.
Hunter: That wasn't a snort. That was a half-snort.
McCall: I don't know where you live in the dark.
Christian: It's Hunter's favorite man-flick.
Shayne: Come feed me a meatball in my sleep.
Shayne: No, he is my husband! I need to communicate with him!
Shayne: At least I have a positive influence on myself.
Davis: Do you know where gamblers go? [Pause] To Las Vegas. And they lose all their money.
Hunter: Come on, Rapunzel, if you can dance, you can do karate.
Hunter: Next question--her eyes the size of apples!
Shayne: That's not a question.
Hunter: 8th question--have you guys ever seen a bathroom in that tower? There's not even a bathroom in that tower.
Hunter: She's 18, he's at least 60.
Hunter: 10th question--where did all those candles go that she made in the beginning.
McCall: Italian club doesn't teach you Welsh.
Tyler: I need vegetables. I haven't had a vegetable in, like, three days.
Christian: I can't help what my body does.
Hunter: The natural man...
Christian: That's right, I have an entire scripture dedicated to me.
Hunter: ...is an enemy to God.
Shayne: I don't really want to know how many guys a boy has kissed. I mean..oh wait...I don't want to know that either.
Christian: I try to be patriotic by wearing clothes from other countries with the same colors.
Dania: This is exactly why I never get homework done. You look like Hunter.
Sam: He eats dinner with me twice a night.
Christian: I wish that the hair on my head would grow on my chest.
Shayne: I'm excited to see him! He's my friend, and I like him!
Shayne: Apples? Apples don't grow on...do they?
Hunter: I'm cake-eating shy.
Christian: I want her to be my boyfriend.
Dania: Well, that was really awkward.
Brooke: Just pop the trunk and no one will notice.
Brooke: Everything's better when you pop the trunk.
Iris: It sounds like a mischievous plan to get a wife.
Shayne: They do that strategically. So we can snuggle with boys. And get married. And make babies.
Brooke: I walk like a man.
Dania: I eat like a man.
Iris: I like men.
Dr. Hinckley: General conference does not count. That sounded really bad. General conference counts for a lot in this life, but it does not count for a concert.
Dr. Hinckley: The Devil's interval, just so you know--[plays it]--that's pure evil. Don't, don't ever play that.
Dr. Hinckley: I wonder if this developed because some of the priests couldn't sing. "Let's just stick with this same note."
Dr. Hinckley: I'm gonna play a little bit more of this Robin Hood naughty song.
Dania: Every time he does one of those smiley faces with an "X" I think he's telling me to die.
Shayne: No, that's just common sense. If you're cold, blow dry your body.
Shayne: This is super dumb.
Iris: You're super...smart.
Dr. Hinckley: If I were to sing this to you--which I will, because I have no shame--it would sound something like this.
Dr. Hinckley: This is a recording of the last castrato.
Brother Stohlton: If you have to cheat on a religion test, somewhere along the line you've missed something.
Brother Stohlton: There is no way on God's green earth that the colonists should have been able to overthrow Great Britain.
Dr. Crandall: Are you attached or unattached?
Kid in class: Unattached.
Dr. Crandall: And happily so?
Kid: [Pause, shrugs shoulders] Eh, it's okay.
Dr. Crandall: How many of you are barbarians? [Silence] I like barbarians.
Dr. Crandall: How many of you males in here will hold a door open for a female or for any man older than you? [Silence] There are a few left who have [pause] manners.
Dr. Crandall: Someone in the Honor Code office in the X-building looks out and sees all these girls wearing blue jeans and thinks, "I guess they're not going to Hell after all. Maybe we should just allow it."
Emily: Okay, who wants to explain this paradigm? [Prounounced: pair-uh-dig-um]
T.A.: Can the head say, "I have no need of a place to sit"? No. They need the bum.