Alex: I'm pretty sure that's an unwritten 11th commandment.
Leslie: You don't need a husband, you just need a puppy!
Leslie: Is that what boogers are? Recycled thoughts?
Jaron: You could've just sat there quietly, with your thumb in my hand. But no!
Alex: Okay, keep fluttering the eyes. It looks good.
Jasmine: At least his plane didn't crash. Then he wouldn't be texting anyone.
Steve: [to my baby cousin, Josie] You'll make a natural bartender!
Steve: Life's just not complete till you're a felon!
Alex: That's what you get for working it! I'm not sure what you're working, but you're working it.
Jasmine: They should just air condition the whole earth. Then the polar ice caps wouldn't have to melt!
Michael: Have you ever broken a butt before?
Michael: If I was a guy, I wouldn't date me.
Michael: I only sit on guys that I like.
Deb: We talk about crushes, and we talk about crinkles. Let's go one step back and call it a fold.
Tim: I'm a man, I don't use aloe vera.
Tim: I'm not doodling, I'm drawing a vampire face.
Tim: There, now it's righteous doodling!
Catie: You just snotted on my neck!
Dania: But you love me anyway.
Catie: Of course I do! If I didn't like your snot, I would've stopped hanging out with you a long time ago.
Catie: Oh, I was going to tell you about twinkling suits!
Eve: A funeral director. That's like, the opposite of a wedding planner.
Catie: No, I think that would be like a nurse...[pause]...for babies...
Catie: No, I was over on the couch by myself. Where I usually am.
Eve: That's like his Swedish Viking friend that you might meet tomorrow.
Eve: I yell "dude" like a swear word.
Karrah: I think they [men] just decided that it was uncomfortable, so they just made women wear it. "You must bear children and wear heels!"
Karrah: So much cheese, so little mouth.
Student: How comprehensive is the final?
Dr. Platt: Comprehensive.
Jasmine: Don't make us talk about bras again.
Alex: Oh, well I'd stay for that.
Dania: My workout is called standing up.
Jasmine: Alex is so weird, I'm so glad he left.
Alex: I hate that kid.
Jaron: Oh, I was just getting my healthy on.
Jaron: I need my lap buddy. Where's Michael?
Jaron: Why were you nuzzling my neck?
Jasmine: Because I love nuzzles.
Alex: Your hair is so tickley, it drives my face crazy.
Jasmine: He smiles at me like a boy should.
Deb: I'm gonna start going this way, and then down and over. Like a typewriter!
Vanese: I smell like tears!
Deb: [cough] I still have sandpeople in my throat.
Jaron: I'm gonna go eat ice cream and probably massage someone.
Jasmine: I'm waiting for you to get back into your book so I can slurp again.
Jasmine: I'm not trying to be annoying, I'm just trying to drink my ice cube.
Jasmine: Seriously, and you thought I was weird for making out with an ice cube?
Alex: I'd rather find a javelin and throw myself upon it.
Jasmine: You just ned someone to hel you with your backside.
Jasmine: I love some wit in the afternoon.
Tori: I always smell delicious. I also always look beautiful.
Tori: So, apparently he was asking me on a date and I didn't know it...How am I ever going to go on a date if I don't even know they're asking me on one?!
Tori: My thumbs are already losing circulation and will have to be amputated. Then how will I press the space bar?
Mom: And you're not good with adjustments. No offense, but you suck at it.