Kristy: He's going to be a surgeon though, so he has really nice hands.
Iris: [Running into the room] It was on purpose! He's a player! He tries to get girls, but he's not a successful one!
Iris: He is a cutie pie. I, I am a chicken pot pie.
Random Church Board in St. George: Forbidden fruit creates many jams.
Brother Nielson: This is my man-wife!
Iris: [Patting my head] I like the shape of your head.
Kevin: I just can't write love songs. I've never been able to do it. I've written infatuation songs!
Kristy: I saw him on campus, and he was eating a sweatshirt...sandwich...
Kristy: No, it smells like a stinky man. Like a good stinky man. Like musk
Kristy: I was at the relationship...I was at the restaurant.
Jess: She was in the paper because she's going to Ghana.
Tori: What's Ghana?
Jess: It's a country.
Tori: Oh, I thought it was a college or something.
Dania: Why does packing exist?
Tori: I don't know, I think the devil invented it.
Random Guy A: She doesn't know it yet, but we're pretty much dating. She's totally into me.
Random Guy B: Oh, by the way, don't be intimidated by the shirt. I'm not the real Spiderman.
Random Girl: Oh, good, cause I was wondering.
Shayne: You were an accident child!
Dania: Nuh-uh! I was a blessing!
Shayne: Yeah, a blessing from the devil!
Brother Hopkin: No! Valiant men stand in battle and slaughter each other face to face!
Kid in Book of Mormon Class: [Reading Alma 48:17] "Behold, the very powers of heck...hell...habit..."
Dylan: [Who is a girl] I have a testimony of Occam's Razor and I know it's true.
Dylan: I think it's because I'm really attracted to men on longboards. But, surprise, men on longboards aren't really attracted to Physics majors.
Dylan: When buoyancy is an essay question, lols are had. [Sounding out "lols"--AKA lolls.]