Saturday, April 30, 2011

April Quotes

Andrew: Just drunk on happiness, Steph.

Tyler: Woohoo! I've got time to go to the bathroom!

Tori: Socks make my feet cold but make them sweat.

Anna: I can't choose my favorite pizza, it's like choosing my favorite child!

Steph: It is not fun. Why can't I be less pretty?

Jasmine: No, don't pop my toes! They're my toes!

Mom: It makes sense if you don't think about it.

Tori: Whatever, I examine my jellybeans closely.

Dania: That was...by far the strangest nose blow I've ever experienced.

Aimee: It must be the male need to kill things.
Stuart: Strategically.

Andrew: It's gonna be a blood bath. It's gonna be a beautiful blood bath.

Ben: Michael's gonna write a story about how to stay smart in the summer, how to keep up on your intelligence.
Michael: What if you're morally opposed to what you're writing about?
Mrs. Van Orden: Then you get a kick in the pants.

Mr. Davis: Junior sluff day?! When's teacher sluff day?!

Tori: We have, like, 20 boxes of books.
Mom: Butts?

Andrew: No, you drink it! That's what you do! I think...

Matt: Eat it near the bathroom in case it comes back up.

Unknown: Jimmer yells "Stuart" whenever he takes a shot.

Matt: Bronwen, we can move this party downstairs.

McKann: But it doesn't even hurt! This is a sense of euphoria I've never felt before.
...
OW! NOW IT REALLY HURTS! Ow! (gasp) I! (gasp) need! (gasp) a band-aid!

Bronwen: You could use my knife if I had it, but my dad stole his truck today.

McKann: No, I can't marry someone with the same personality as me. No, I hate myself.

McKann: Ew, sneezing is really gross. Other times it's really fun.

Bronwen: Phil Collins! I love myself!

Bronwen: Ever since he shaved, I like him so much more.
McKann: Oh, he shaved?! Thank the freaking heavens!

Bronwen: Guys! That's what criminals should do! Just wear a bunch of band-aids!
McKann: Or just wear gloves...
Bronwen: But if they find gloves in the trash can, they're going to be suspicious. If they just find a pile of band-aids...
McKann: That might be suspicious too...
Bronwen: Well then, you could scatter them in different trash cans. Or you could just go in a swimming pool and let them come off in there. The chlorine would dissolve the fingerprints anyways.

Jane: ...But that pizza is sicker than anchovies.
Maren: Let me tell you about love. Love, is like a pizza. Sometimes, it's cold and flat. Other times, it's warm and gooey.

Aaron: Favorite sport? AP testing!

Henry: Are they gonna be puritan ministers about this?

Tyler: It's Thursday, bless our hearts.

Caleb: I threw up yesterday!

Andrew: (In non-reference to the little girl) Look at that deliciousness.

Steph: I want my cow spandex, and that's that.

Thomas: I guess that's alright if you're into making money and being rich and stuff.

McKann: Angry Birds on the iPad is the best! Cause it's like, "Woosh, AH! THE BIRD IS SO BIG!"

McKann: Beards equal homeless. Does Thomas S. Monson have a beard? No. Cause he has a home.

Jorden: What would happen if they started white people 40 meters up in the Olympics? Black people would still win.

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