I love my family so much--I have missed them. Sunday Skype Sessions just aren't the same as this:
Because this is real life. Where I get to hug them and hold them and crawl all over them and occasionally receive a whack from one or two of them.
I have never been happier to wake up than when my baby brother walks into the room, flicks on the light and yells, "Surprise!"
I've missed the steadiness of my dad--of always knowing that I can count on him to be there for all of us whenever we need him.
I have longed for walks with amazing mother. I hardly notice the hills and the miles--I'm just grateful to be with her.
Bananagrams just isn't the same without Tori and the crazy words she comes up with. Neither is exploring various new territories. Or watching happily-ever-after-fairytales. Or getting lost in the forest.
The thought of leaving the home with my eternal family to go back to Provo--where there's school and work and stress of every kind--makes me incredibly uncomfortable. It makes me feel sick, really. If I could stop time and just never go back, I would do it in a heartbeat.
I mean, I love an awful lot of things about Provo. (Take the mountains, for example. Though it is stunningly gorgeous out here, I could most definitely go for another mountainous excursion upon my arrival. I do miss them a lot.) But this is home. This is where I feel loved and important--this is where I feel like I belong. And as great and exciting and important as college is, it just isn't the same.
But I do have to go back. And that's okay. I have things to do and to work for and to learn. There are good things waiting for me back home in Provo--I just need to discover most of them. So I will go back, and I will work hard, and I will give everything that I have so that I can come home deserving the blessing of being home for a while.
Until then, I'll be missing home. December 17th couldn't come fast enough.