I wish I was brilliant. I wish I understood the world, I wish I could could completely relate to all the nerd quirks that are out there in this world. (Side note: I love this blog--Nerd Quirks.)
I mean, just look at these:
|When you're allowed one note card for a test.|
(All photos found on this blog.)
I'm close enough to understand them, to see the beauty in them, but not enough to feel justified in calling myself a nerd. It pains me--truly, deeply. I feel broken inside, not being nerdy enough. There is a dagger just hangin' out in my heart. I may as well just lay down on the table and let the true nerds dissect me so I can at least serve some purpose to the nerd community that I so long to be a part of.
On the bright side, I'm starting to figure it out. At least a little bit. I may never be a genius math major, or neuroscience, or whatever brilliant person it is that I see next and deeply covet their nerdy qualities, but I do recognize that the library encompasses all that is good in this life.
I may be a Recreation Management major, but I do love studying with all of my heart. I love to read, to learn, to grow. I love that I can hold adventure--true adventure--in my hands. I love how one little piece of knowledge can carry me through a day's worth of thought. I love to experience life, to soak it in, to make connections, to see the world around me. I love that learning is never over, that there is always something new to be experienced--to be discovered.
I think it's high time that I return to my love and bury myself in my studies. I miss it. Don't worry, my dear friend, I'll be coming home to you soon!
But for tonight, I'll make believe that I am the nerd I've always longed to be, and in my dreams I'll find myself adjusting my slightly oversized glasses while checking my stopwatch as I solve an unbelievably complex math problem. I'll quote Shakespeare and Thoreau with the best of them, and I'll spend my days in the most unknown corner of the library soaking in the knowledge of the world.