Mom: You have to have your cheeseburger to eat your toy.
Tori: I could live in a condo if that whole building were mine.
Mom: I keep smelling barf. Oh, it's his feet.
Tori: Dad, I don't know why you married Mom.
Mom: Thanks, Tor.
Benny: I'm going to teach Heavenly Father how to do a somersault!
Tori: Oh. I think I just licked a booger off my lips.
Dania: I thought those umbrellas were people.
Mom: I thought those wooden posts were turkeys.
Chase: See how cool it is to be a kid?
Benny: Lick me! Give me a lick.
Mom: Is it just me, or is it dizzy in here?
Brent: I've been going to girls' camp for eight years now.
Tori: So there's this girl wearing one of those one-piece outfits and she leaned over and totally gave herself a wedgie.
Mom: I think anybody who doesn't love the Olympics has no soul.
Conference Weekly here.