I feel like Anastasia. And, though I did dress up as her for Halloween, I don't think that's why. I am in the midst of preparations to take one giant leap into the unknown. I have been turning in applications in all forms. And now, I'm done. Psych! There will always be more, this is merely the end of the beginning, and the beginning of something that will never end.
I'm "nervous but excited" (a gold star to anyone who can name what that's from) to see where all of this takes me. I absolutely cannot wait. There is so much ahead of me - so many questions to answer, decisions to make, and things to do. And I want to know what they are. But I just know that once everything is done and ready, once the time finally comes for me to take that first step, I'll hesitate. Not because I want to go back, but because this is huge.
Sometimes, when I feel like being lost in thought, I envision myself moving out. It's busy, it's hectic, it's exciting, and, eventually, there's a quiet moment. Everything put in its proper place, there comes that time when I sit on my bed, let out a deep breath, and admire my work. I look around. The adrenaline dies down and slowly, as if it enters with my next breath, it hits me. And this is when I will sing to myself. "Heart, don't fail me now..."