Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Here I Am

I guess there are just those days when you stare into the mirror. Not at yourself, but past yourself. Beyond the outward, physical existence. Into yourself. You stare because you want to see who you are. 

But it doesn't come in words. 

It comes in images, in memories. It comes in hopes and dreams. It comes in prayers once said and conversations once had. It comes in kind words expressed, and maybe some not-so-kind ones too. It comes from the deepest depths of somewhere. Somewhere.

I'm not really sure where somewhere is.

But here is what I do know:

I am happiest when the day begins with a run, followed by a large breakfast and a slew of daily vitamins.

I want to be a student for the remainder of my life.

I cannot wait to graduate already.

Nothing says comfort food like cereal.

I drink Milo when I miss Fiji terribly.

I find comfort in knowing that, when goodbyes are hard, at least it means it was something worthwhile.

I want to be a better person.

My Heavenly Father knows and loves me. 

Precipitation in any form is a cause for celebration.

I know that the Book of Mormon is true.

I sure am proud of those boys serving missions.

Service is the best way to love life now.

"All things denote there is a God."

I curl up with the quilts my mom made me when I'm homesick.

The idea of being bored is exciting to me.

I don't read nearly as much as I have always intended to.

A letter in the mail will always make any day a good one.

I am never alone.

My family is incredible.

Some things are worth doing just for the sake of telling the story later.

I have a very real obsession with drinking water.

I love cleaning stoves.

Peanut butter has a place on every type of food. 

I am always down for a cheeseburger of any size.

I love scars and bruises and scrapes.

I firmly believe that eating onions makes my mouth taste like an armpit.

I don't know how to pack.

Breaking down certain walls is scary, but always always worth it.

Aprons are meant to be worn all day and everywhere.

Ponytails give me headaches. 

My main motivation to keeping my hair long is to be able to braid it.

Pencil skirts are a lot cuter when I'm not trying to run in them.

Same with heels.

And backpacks.

I go barefoot whenever possible.

I named my phone Jimmy.

Writing in my journal keeps me sane.

I always tag Facebook pictures right on the person's nose.

Good food is always a good present.

I can do anything that I set my mind to--but I sometimes forget that.

I am desperately, hopelessly, and irrevocably in love with life.

In all those countless moments of staring through the blur and past the toothpaste speckles, at least I've found this much.


  1. I know that Dani makes out with ice cubes. Oh wait...

  2. I love the pencil skirt/heels/backpack one . . . probably especially in the rain, though it is a cause for celebration.

  3. I love the conflict between eternal student and over-anxious would-be graduate :)