Guy 2: Do you hate babies and sunshine, too?
Girl: So today I made dinner. I made the usual portion that my mom makes for our family of six--I ate. All of it.
Lacey: Okay, this may sound really stupid, but let's think about Winnie the Pooh for a second. How stupid must he and Christopher Robin have been to be like, "Tut tut, looks like rain, oh that'll fool the bees!"
Zach: I'm not distracting her! That's like telling the sun not to shine.
Taylor: And then you freak out cause your alarm won't change to PM, and then you're like, "Oh wait, I'm a soldier."
Taylor: If I don't want you to talk to someone, I'll kill them.
Lacey: You're really good at...speaking words. And I mean that from the bottom of my soul.
Lacey: Oh my gosh, Dani, I have to add another friend. You know why? I have 666 friends, and Shari's face is creepily poking out the bottom.
Guy: In the construction industry, you usually have a fatal death per week. One or more.
Lacey: Okay. Thank you for sharing your life plan with me. I am not going to be a part of it.
Brad: I'm so happy. I just sent some beef jerky down to my friend in Nicaragua.
Taylor: Do I look as attractive as I think I do?
Taylor: I hope we didn't just hit a pedestrian. I don't think we did, cause I didn't hear a thump.
Taylor: My hands are all dry and crackley, like a pickle.
Taylor: Good thing those cars aren't called "peeps," cause then it would be a poop.
Lacey: I feel like ginger isn't a nationality.
Taylor: Look! That one's dying! Either that, or it's in labor. [Later] Look! That one's having labor too!
Taylor: They're doing handstands. Or, upside down handstands. That's called standing.
Lacey: Second winter is my least favorite of the winters. Unless there's a third winter coming up, in which case, I definitely don't like third winter.
Lacey: What did I just find in my belly button? Look at that, it's like a little stick. How did I get that in my belly button?
Michael: I think you're going to Africa.
Dania: Africa is a continent, not a mission.
Michael: Nuh uh! I can't narrow it down! All the black people need you, Dania.
Michael: I can breathe! I have one and a half nostrils.
Michael: Something about being a single guy makes you really hungry.
Lacey: Trying to fill the hole in your soul that need to be filled by a woman?
Taylor: You need to learn how to be rude.
Brad: It's like a drunk, but without the alcohol content.
Taylor: I bet if you were there, I wouldn't like picnics.
Taylor: I'm not like you. I don't take advantage of my significant other's car.