Tyler: Alright guys, that's it. I'm coming out!
Ben: You are not gay.
McKann: It sounds like screeching, like fairies dying or something.
Thomas: Jackalopes--they're real, people.
Thomas: I don't like your criticisms, Mrs. Van Orden, they seem to be endlessly directed at me.
Mrs. Van Orden: Sorry, I can't help it.
Thomas: Rules are meant to be broken, or bent until they break.
Maren: I am SO cute! Every day, I'm like, "Stop that, I can't even look at you anymore. You're too cute for your own good."
Seth: Cooking is overrated, I will never cook.
Dania: Then I will never marry you.
Mom: Why, because he's a boy? That's racist.
Jacob: Was it a lunchtime of passion?
Jacob: Baby, baby, baby, CHEESE!
Mom: It's freezing like the devil in here! It feels like ice! It feels like the ice that grows in Hell when it freezes over!
Will: (speaking of abbrevs) You gotta come up with your own way to mess up the English language.
Dania: (to Stuart) You have a bony butt.
Stuart: Thank you, I'll take that as a compliment.
Jacob: It's like a concealed weapon.
Stuart: (pretending to be a police officer) Do you have a permit for that, sir? Excuse me sir, do you have a permit for that butt?
McKann: I was only three years old, it doesn't even count! I was barely not a fetus.
Ben: My computer froze.
Steph: Maybe you should warm it up with words of love.
Laura: I think nose kisses are gross.
Kristy: Jimmer and Mr. Darcy all in one night.
Dania: I am gonna have some dang good dreams tonight.
Daniel: Write with an English accent.
McKann: And this is the rap part and I don't know it!
(Benny's nodding off to sleep, refusing to wake up even though it's too early for him to go to bed.)
Dad: You're like the students in my class.
Seth: I don't get it. I mean, someone else had the same tux as me, and I didn't care.
Mom: I'm so tired I could sleep.
Tori: Can we go to the dirt hill?
Mom: No way, you're wearing your brand new, white birthday pants.
Tori: But they would be so cool with...stains!
Tori: Why can't we laugh?
Tori: I can control my shivers when I'm in a calm emotional state.
Mom: My hamburger's right here, I can feel it. It's kicking like a baby.
Andrew: I am all ears. Like, my eyes have become ears.
Disclaimer: The following quote was said on a Tuesday.
Steph: (in reference to roller coasters) Tyler is a pathetic excuse for a man.
Niels: This shoe is my wife!
Benny: Hi kids!
Dania: (to Andrew) You just admitted!
Kristy: (to Andrew) You like Justin Beiber?!
Jacob: Birth is the only rite of passage I ever needed.
Daniel: (speaking of his leg hair) Mine is man colored.
Andrew: I'm sure they take bald people into account.
Chris: What is your worst throwing up experience? Oh, every time's about the same.