I'm not sure why it is, but I have this strange tendency to take any question that I have to this here web log thing I signed up for. But that's irrelevant.
As you can tell from the title of the post, today I want to talk about dreaming. And not the kind that you have at night, and not the kind you have during your most boring class either. The kind that plays itself out somewhere deep in your soul, and every so often you catch a glimpse into. The kind that shows you what it is that you truly, deeply love. The kind that you would be willing to throw your current life--everything that you know--completely aside for.
The desires of your heart.
Sometimes, I dream big. Oh, I dream big. I dream about using my degree (that I have yet to obtain) in recreation management to change the world--or at least a corner of it, somewhere. I could start a non-profit, I say. I could work with youth, I could travel the world via humanitarian trips to various third-world countries. I could get a master's degree. I could learn a language. I could, I could, I could. There are so many wonderful, beautiful, remarkable things available. So much good. And I dream about being a part of it.
Sometimes those big dreams are beautiful. Sometimes they're the most beautiful thing I could ever see. Because when something is just a little bit far off, it still has that extra sparkle. From the outside looking in, the smudges are a little harder to see--especially with that glint in your eye. Sometimes we get selective vision--when we dream up our visions of grandeur, we see the excitement and the glory and the goodness only in the big things. We miss the detail that makes it splendid in the first place.
There is something immensely beautiful in an individual's ability to devote a life dream to something that draws little to no attention. Something that people all too often gloss over. It can be difficult to go after a dream like that in a society that so often pushes "bigger is better" as we trample each other in the race to the top. It takes remarkable courage and, to me, courage and beauty are unfailingly intertwined.
What's funny, is that I think that we all do that. We all have our number one, most important dream. And that's the one that we live. It's the one that we put all else aside for. But what do we do after that? So often, we hold onto our second best, our third best options. Not even for the sake of a backup plan, but to show them. Because we ask each other these things--what is your biggest dream? And we need an answer, don't we?
And for some reason, we never think to answer, "I'm living it." Clear and simple. None of the if's and the maybe's and the hopefully's and the it'll probably never happen's. Just gratitude. Just recognition that you chose to be where you are for a reason.
I guess what I'm saying is that I don't want to be afraid to dream my biggest dream in something inconspicuous. Sometimes that's where accomplishing dreams is the sweetest.
But all this dream-talk is making me hungry. I think I'll go have some toast.